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SRIV DLC strings

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Forum Index > Saints Row IV > SRIV DLC strings
Posted by 452 on 2014-09-29 03:57:57

To-do list > DLC > SRIV DLC strings

Oops, I never got around to posting the DLC strings. I'll do the DLC subtitles sometime soon too.

  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_ALL_TOO_EASY = ALL TOO EASY
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_BOW_TO_THE_BOSS = BOW TO THE BOSS!
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_FRIEND_OF_THE_RAPTORS = FRIEND OF THE RAPTORS
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_HEALTH_INSPECTOR = HEALTH INSPECTOR
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_HELLO_LITTLE_FRIEND = HELLO LITTLE FRIEND
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_INDOMITABLE = INDOMITABLE
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_OMGWTFBBQ = OMGWTFBBQ
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_RIGGING_THE_RACE = RIGGING THE RACE
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_ULTIMATE_HOT_POTATO = ULTIMATE HOT POTATO
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC1_WALKING_THE_DINOSAUR = WALKING THE DINOSAUR
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_A_SAINT_GETS_A_GUN = ...A SAINT GETS A GUN
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_A_VERY_GENKI_HOLIDAY = A VERY GENKI HOLIDAY
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_A_WORLD_WITHOUT_CHRISTMAS = A WORLD WITHOUT CHRISTMAS
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_BEEP_YOU_CLAWZ = *BEEP* YOU, CLAWZ!
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_DEAR_SANTA = DEAR SANTA
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_GET_THAT_KID_TO_A_PSYCHOLOGIST = GET THAT KID TO A PSYCHOLOGIST
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_HES_STILL_ON_THE_NAUGHTY_LIST = HE'S STILL ON THE NAUGHTY LIST
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_HOW_MANY_LICKS_DOES_IT_TAKE = MINTY FRESH!
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_MAKE_A_LIST_CHECK_IT_TWICE = MAKE A LIST, CHECK IT TWICE
  • ACHIEVEMENT_SR4_DLC2_OUR_GIFT_TO_YOU = OUR GIFT TO YOU
  • cf_hat_daisy = COUNTRY STRAW HAT
  • cf_hat_fpopstar = POP HAT
  • cf_hat_prairiebonnet = PRAIRIE BONNET
  • cf_mask_superhero01 = THE STRAPLESS WONDER MASK
  • cf_suit_alienfsol = ALIEN LADY
  • cf_suit_animegirl = SHOJO CUTIE
  • cf_suit_cavew = PREHISTORIC PRETTY
  • cf_suit_collegecoed = SORORITY CHIC
  • cf_suit_daisy = SEXY REDNECK
  • cf_suit_popstar = POP STAR
  • cf_suit_prairiedress = PRAIRIE DRESS
  • cf_suit_superhero01 = THE STRAPLESS WONDER
  • cf_suit_superherob = MISS MISCHIEF
  • cm_eyes_eyepatch01 = EYEPATCH
  • cm_eyes_jgat = GAT GLASSES
  • cm_hair_animegirl = TOTES KAWAII
  • cm_hair_animemale = EASTERN ANGLES
  • cm_hair_benfranklin = THE FRANKLIN
  • cm_hair_johnnygat = GAT HAIR
  • cm_hat_aisha = AISHA HAT
  • cm_hat_bandana01 = PIRATE HEAD WRAP
  • cm_hat_beercap = TAILGATE STANDARD
  • cm_hat_brahat = MELON MELONS
  • cm_hat_drivers = PEBBLE BEACH SPECIAL
  • cm_hat_elfsoldier = ELF HAT
  • cm_hat_hillbilly = DIRTY TRUCKER
  • cm_hat_postapocman = POST APOC GOGGLES
  • cm_hat_santa01 = SANTA HAT
  • cm_hat_westernhat = HAT WITH NO NAME
  • cm_lbdy_pegleg = PEG LEG
  • cm_lbdy_pegleg02 = PEG LEGS
  • cm_lbdy_piratepants02 = PIRATE PANTS
  • CM_LWRIST_LHOOK01 = LEFT HOOK
  • cm_lwrst_lhook01 = LEFT HOOK
  • cm_mask_dubya = DUBYA MASK
  • cm_mask_goalie01 = GOALIE MASK
  • cm_mask_lincoln = HONEST ABE MASK
  • cm_mask_obama = BARRY-O MASK
  • cm_mask_superhero04 = FURIOUS V MASK
  • cm_mask_washington = THE ORIGINAL PREZ MASK
  • cm_mask_zynyak = ZINYAK MASK
  • CM_RWRIST_RHOOK01 = RIGHT HOOK
  • cm_rwrst_rhook01 = RIGHT HOOK
  • cm_suit_agenttux = DOUBLE-O TUX
  • CM_SUIT_AGENTTUX_OLD = DOUBLE-O TUX
  • cm_suit_aisha = AISHA SUIT
  • cm_suit_aliensoldier = ALIEN GRUNT
  • cm_suit_anime = SHONEN
  • cm_suit_caveman = STONE AGE STUD
  • cm_suit_coedmale = COLLEGIATE CASUAL
  • CM_SUIT_DECKSWABBER = THE DECK SWABBER
  • cm_suit_digidino = DIGITAL DINO
  • cm_suit_dombondage = SPANK ME
  • cm_suit_elfsoldier = ELF SUIT
  • cm_suit_goalie01 = WAFFLE-BOARDER
  • cm_suit_golf = FORE!
  • cm_suit_gsp = GENKI SPACE PIMP
  • cm_suit_hillb = THE HILLBILLY
  • cm_suit_jgat = GAT SUIT
  • cm_suit_papoc = ROAD BARBARIAN
  • cm_suit_robomonkey = ROBOCHIMP
  • cm_suit_saloonbarista = LADY MAVERICK
  • cm_suit_santa01 = SANTA SUIT
  • cm_suit_superhero03 = THE OTHERWORLDER
  • cm_suit_superhero04 = FURIOUS V
  • cm_suit_warden = WARDEN
  • cm_suit_washington = THE PATRIOT
  • cm_suit_western = THE SUIT WITH NO NAME
  • cm_suit_zynyak = ZINYAK SUIT
  • cm_ubdy_apologyt = ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEE
  • cm_ubdy_pirate02 = PIRATE SHIRT
  • cm_ubdy_uglyxmas = MERRY XMAS
  • DL6_UNL_PWR_BLING_DESC = Money is your mana! Find new uses for cache (and new ways to earn it) with your superpowers!
  • DL6_UNL_PWR_BLING_NAME = BLING POWER ELEMENT
  • DL6_UNL_WEP_POLARIZER_DESC = Collect enemies and objects with magnetic force, then fling them every which-a-way.
  • DL6_UNL_WEP_POLARIZER_NAME = WEAPON - THE POLARIZER
  • DL6_WPN_COST_POLARIZER_DESC = Put the principles of mutual attraction and repulsion to work for you!
  • DL6_WPN_COST_POLARIZER_NAME = THE POLARIZER
  • DL6_WPN_POLARIZER_DESC = Warps space to leave your enemies helplessly flailing.
  • DL6_WPN_POLARIZER_NAME = WARPED WEAPON
  • dlc_suit_freckleb = FRECKLE BITCH'S DELIVERY CHICK
  • DLC_WPN_ARC_NAME = ARC MINETHROWER
  • DLC_WPN_COST_DESC_PLUNGER = Lends your rampages a touch of class ... or is that dysentery?
  • DLC_WPN_COST_NAME_PLUNGER = OUTHOUSE AVENGER
  • DLC_WPN_DESC_PLUNGER = Fires an explosive plunger that sticks to foes, then explodes in a noxious mess.
  • DLC_WPN_DESCRIP_DUBSTEP2 = New tunes, same old awesome.
  • DLC_WPN_NAME_DUBSTEP2 = DUBSTEP GUN (DLC REMIX)
  • DLC_WPN_NAME_PLUNGER = PLUNGER GUN
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_COST_HILLBILLY_SMG = For shootin' all manner of critters. Also varmints.
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_DESC_BRADYSMG_1 = Gold never goes out of style.
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_DESC_BRADYSMG_2 = As lethal as it is cute
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_DESC_BRADYSMG_3 = Pick a color, any color. What the hell, pick 'em all!
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_DESC_DUBSTEP_2 = It goes with your spear and magic helmet.
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_DESC_DUBSTEP_F = Das zingy beat ist wunderbar!
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_DESC_DUBSTEP_G = When it comes to destruction, it's the hardest of the hardcore.
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_DESC_DUBSTEP_H = Where Big Band meets big booms
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_NAME_BRADYSMG_1 = GOLD-PLATED
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_NAME_BRADYSMG_2 = PRETTY PINK
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_NAME_BRADYSMG_3 = PAINT GUN
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_NAME_DUBSTEP_2 = CLASSICAL
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_NAME_DUBSTEP_F = OKTOBERFEST
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_NAME_DUBSTEP_G = DETHMETTAL
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_NAME_DUBSTEP_H = SWINGTIME
  • DLC_WPN_SKIN_NAME_HILLBILLY_SMG = HILLBILLY
  • DLC1_COSTDESC_FLAMER = Fire .... gooood!
  • DLC1_COSTDESC_LAUNCHER = Booms, booms, and more booms.
  • DLC1_COSTDESC_MINIGUN = It packs a punch.
  • DLC1_COSTNAME_FLAMER = THE FLAMIN' BRUTE
  • DLC1_COSTNAME_LAUNCHER = GL G20 MULTIBOMBER
  • DLC1_COSTNAME_MINIGUN = THE BRUTE
  • DLC1_HOMIES_DOMINATRIX_DESC = You WILL submit to taking her as your homie!
  • DLC1_HOMIES_DOMINATRIX_NAME = THE DOMINATRIX
  • DLC1_HOMIES_DOMME_DESC = Make Dom your slave ... for a while.
  • DLC1_HOMIES_DOMME_NAME = DOM THE DOM
  • DLC1_HOMIES_DONNIE_DESC = Dominate the simulation with Donnie.
  • DLC1_HOMIES_DONNIE_NAME = DONNIE
  • DLC1_HOMIES_JOSH_DESC = Call up your understudy to fight alongside you.
  • DLC1_HOMIES_JOSH_NAME = JOSH BIRK
  • DLC1_HOMIES_NED_DESC = Spend some quality time with Velociraptor Ned.
  • DLC1_HOMIES_NED_NAME = VELOCIRAPTOR NED
  • DLC1_HOMIES_NYTEBLAYDE_DESC = Bring in Nyteblayde to fight with you, and rule the night!
  • DLC1_HOMIES_NYTEBLAYDE_NAME = NYTEBLAYDE
  • DLC1_HOMIES_ZIMOS_DESC = Roll with Zimos.
  • DLC1_HOMIES_ZIMOS_NAME = ZIMOS
  • DLC1_HUD_USE_PARACHUTE = OPEN PARACHUTE
  • DLC1_PRESS_TRIGGER = PRESS {HELI_FIRE_SECONDARY_IMG}
  • DLC1_SHAKE_SHIP = PRESS {PLANE_LEFT_RIGHT_IMG} ALTERNATELY
  • DLC1_UNL_ETDPACK_ALERT_DESC = Enter the Dominatrix content is now available in your Hub. Check your quest log for new missions.
  • DLC1_UNL_ETDPACK_ALERT_NAME = ENTER THE DOMINATRIX PACK
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_DOMINATRIX_DESC = The Dominatrix can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. Your enemies must submit!
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_DOMINATRIX_NAME = HOMIE - THE DOMINATRIX
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_DOMME_DESC = Dom the Dom can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will punish the Saints' enemies.
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_DOMME_NAME = HOMIE - DOM THE DOM
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_DONNIE_DESC = Donnie can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_DONNIE_NAME = HOMIE - DONNIE
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_JOSH_DESC = Josh and Nyteblayde can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. And they're totally not the same person.
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_JOSH_NAME = HOMIE - JOSH BIRK AND NYTEBLAYDE
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_NED_DESC = Velociraptor Ned can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will help the Saints in combat, more or less.
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_NED_NAME = HOMIE - VELOCIRAPTOR NED
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_ZIMOS_DESC = Zimos can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will help the Saints in combat. And look sharp doing it.
  • DLC1_UNL_HOMIE_ZIMOS_NAME = HOMIE - ZIMOS
  • DLC1_UNL_PIRATE_ALERT_DESC = It's a dead man's chest full o' weapon costumes, a pirate outfit, and a fearsome land ship. Plenty of booty for ye, matey!
  • DLC1_UNL_PIRATE_ALERT_NAME = PIRATE'S BOOTY PACK
  • DLC1_UNL_SUIT_AGENT_DESC = Wear this and your Saints Flow will come shaken, not stirred.
  • DLC1_UNL_SUIT_AGENT_NAME = SUIT - SECRET AGENT MAN
  • DLC1_UNL_SUIT_PIRATE_DESC = Prepare to board your enemies with these clothes!
  • DLC1_UNL_SUIT_PIRATE_NAME = BOOTY CLOTHES
  • DLC1_UNL_SUIT_SPANK_DESC = Be a slave to fashion! Well ... a slave to SOMETHING. You'll find it in your Gateway Wardrobe.
  • DLC1_UNL_SUIT_SPANK_NAME = SUIT - SPANK ME
  • DLC1_UNL_SUIT_SUPER_DESC = You've got the powers, now you have the look!
  • DLC1_UNL_SUIT_SUPER_NAME = THE SPANDEX COLLECTION
  • DLC1_UNL_VEHICLES_DESC = Dildozer, XXX Gunslinger and the Naughty F-69 VTOL. These have struck fear into the hearts and loins of thousands. Now they're yours.
  • DLC1_UNL_VEHICLES_NAME = VEHICLES - DOMINATRIX THREE WAY
  • DLC1_UNL_WPN_FLAMER_DESC = The Flaming Brute, named for the Syndicate goons that made it infamous, can now be equipped at your Weapon Cache.
  • DLC1_UNL_WPN_FLAMER_NAME = WEAPON - FLAMETHROWER
  • DLC1_UNL_WPN_LAUNCHER_DESC = The GL G20 Multibomber launches swarms of grenades on a short fuse. Equip it at your Gateway Weapon Cache.
  • DLC1_UNL_WPN_LAUNCHER_NAME = WEAPON - GRENADE LAUNCHER
  • DLC1_UNL_WPN_MINGUN_DESC = The Brute minigun isn't fancy, but it gets the job done ... at 1200 rounds/minute. Equip it at your Gateway Weapon Cache.
  • DLC1_UNL_WPN_MINIGUN_NAME = WEAPON - HEAVY MINIGUN
  • DLC1_WEPDESC_FLAMER = A terrifying weapon that sets your foes on fire
  • DLC1_WEPDESC_LAUNCHER = Fires a barrage of grenades that explode on a short fuse.
  • DLC1_WEPDESC_MINIGUN = Fires thousands of rounds a minute to clear the area of all unfriendlies
  • DLC1_WEPNAME_FLAMER = FLAMETHROWER
  • DLC1_WEPNAME_LAUNCHER = GRENADE LAUNCHER
  • DLC1_WEPNAME_MINIGUN = HEAVY MINIGUN
  • DLC1_WPN_UPGRADE_FLAMER_DESC = The fire from the flamethrower is now so intense that the heat alone damage targets for several meters past the flames.
  • DLC1_WPN_UPGRADE_FLAMER_NAME = FEEL THE HEAT
  • DLC1_WPN_UPGRADE_LUCHADORE_DESC = Bombs now immediately explode upon contacting a human target.
  • DLC1_WPN_UPGRADE_LUCHADORE_NAME = GOTCHA!
  • DLC1_WPN_UPGRADE_MINIGUN_DESC = The weapons damage now actually increases with distance.
  • DLC1_WPN_UPGRADE_MINIGUN_NAME = LONGSHOT
  • DLC2_BOUNCE_UPGRADE_DESC = Kills with this weapon restore a small amount of health, cause targets to drop more cash, and grant a slight bonus to XP earned.
  • DLC2_BOUNCE_UPGRADE_NAME = HEALTHY, WEALTHY AND WISE
  • DLC2_CUST_XMASSWT_DESC = Show your holiday spirit and questionable fashion sense with this handmade original. You can find it in your wardrobe.
  • DLC2_CUST_XMASSWT_NAME = CLOTHING - XMAS SWEATER
  • DLC2_HOMIE_CLAWZ_DESC = Don't deck the halls, wreck the halls with Clawz!
  • DLC2_HOMIE_CLAWZ_NAME = CLAWZ
  • DLC2_HOMIE_ELVES_DESC = Spread some holiday cheer with the superpowered Giant Elves.
  • DLC2_HOMIE_ELVES_NAME = GIANT ELVES
  • DLC2_HOMIE_FSHAUNDI_DESC = Make some history with Future Shaundi.
  • DLC2_HOMIE_FSHAUNDI_NAME = FUTURE SHAUNDI
  • DLC2_HOMIE_GINGER_DESC = Run with the Gingerbread men.
  • DLC2_HOMIE_GINGER_NAME = GINGERBREAD MEN
  • DLC2_HOMIE_MSCLAUS_DESC = Deck the halls with Mrs. Claus!
  • DLC2_HOMIE_MSCLAUS_NAME = MRS. CLAUS
  • DLC2_HOMIE_SANTA_DESC = He'll tell you who's naughty and who's nice.
  • DLC2_HOMIE_SANTA_NAME = SANTA
  • DLC2_HOMIE_SCID_DESC = Get in that holiday spirit with CID.
  • DLC2_HOMIE_SCID_NAME = SANTA HAT CID
  • DLC2_THE_END = THE END
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_CLAWZ_DESC = Clawz can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_CLAWZ_NAME = HOMIE - CLAWZ
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_ELVES_DESC = The Giant Elves can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. They will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_ELVES_NAME = HOMIE - GIANT ELVES
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_FSHAUNDI_DESC = Future Shaundi can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. She will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_FSHAUNDI_NAME = HOMIE - FUTURE SHAUNDI
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_GINGER_DESC = The Gingerbread Men can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. They will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_GINGER_NAME = HOMIE - GINGERBREAD MEN
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_MSCLAUS_DESC = Mrs. Claus can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. She will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_MSCLAUS_NAME = HOMIE - MRS. CLAUS
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_SANTA_DESC = Santa can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_SANTA_NAME = HOMIE - SANTA
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_SCID_DESC = Santa Hat CID can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC2_UNL_HOMIE_SCID_NAME = HOMIE - SANTA HAT CID
  • DLC2_UNL_NAUGHTY_DESC = You have unlocked a new instance of the NAUGHTY AND NICE Activity. \nCheck your MAP for locations.
  • DLC2_UNL_NAUGHTY_NAME = ACTIVITY - NAUGHTY AND NICE
  • DLC2_UNL_OUTFIT_ELF_DESC = Fit for elves, pixies, and aspiring dentists. You can find this outfit in your wardrobe.
  • DLC2_UNL_OUTFIT_ELF_NAME = OUTFIT - ELF SUIT
  • DLC2_UNL_OUTFIT_SANTA_DESC = Look like the Jolly Old Elf, himself. You can find this outfit in your wardrobe.
  • DLC2_UNL_OUTFIT_SANTA_NAME = OUTFIT - SANTA SUIT
  • DLC2_UNL_PAK_ANIME_DESC = Clothing, hair and weapons with that special anime flair have been unlocked and await you in your wardrobe and weapons cache!
  • DLC2_UNL_PAK_ANIME_NAME = ANIME PACK
  • DLC2_UNL_PAK_CAVEMAN_DESC = It's a modern stone-age pack of fun, with caveman clothes, weapons and vehicles now available.
  • DLC2_UNL_PAK_CAVEMAN_NAME = STONE AGE PACK
  • DLC2_UNL_PAK_CHILDS_DESC = A new vehicle and two outfits are now available at your Gateway Garage and Wardrobe.
  • DLC2_UNL_PAK_CHILDS_NAME = CHILD'S PLAY PACK
  • DLC2_UNL_PAK_SSC_DESC = How the Saints Save Christmas content is now available in your Hub. Check your quest log for new missions.
  • DLC2_UNL_PAK_SSC_NAME = HOW THE SAINTS SAVE CHRISTMAS PACK
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_DEER_DESC = You now have this vehicle available at your Gateway Garage
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_DEER_NAME = VEHICLE - DASHER
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_GINGER_DESC = You now have this vehicle available at your Gateway Garage
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_GINGER_NAME = VEHICLE - GINGERBREAD VAN
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_JOLLY_DESC = You now have this vehicle available at your Gateway Garage
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_JOLLY_NAME = VEHICLE - JOLLY COMPTON
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_SLAYER_DESC = You now have this vehicle available at your Gateway Garage
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_SLAYER_NAME = VEHICLE - SLAYER
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_SLEIGH_DESC = You now have this vehicle available at your Gateway Garage
  • DLC2_UNL_VEH_SLEIGH_NAME = VEHICLE - SLEIGH ONE
  • DLC2_UNL_WEAPON_COWBOY_DESC = Give those varmints a taste of frontier justice! You can find it in your Gateway weapon cache.
  • DLC2_UNL_WEAPON_COWBOY_NAME = WEAPON - CRIMSON COWBOY
  • DLC2_UNL_WEP_COST_DUB_DESC = 'Tis the sounds of the season. You can customize it in your Gateway Weapons Cache.
  • DLC2_UNL_WEP_COST_DUB_NAME = WEAPON COSTUME - XMAS DUBSTEP
  • DLC2_UNL_WEP_COST_POLE_DESC = Customize your baseball bat to beat some holiday cheer into your foes.
  • DLC2_UNL_WEP_COST_POLE_NAME = WEAPON COSTUME - NORTH POLE
  • DLC2_WPN_BONE_DESC = Somewhere, there's a giant boneless chicken looking for this.
  • DLC2_WPN_BONE_NAME = GIANT BONE
  • DLC2_WPN_CLUB_DESC = For when you need to get neolithic on someone's ass.
  • DLC2_WPN_CLUB_NAME = CAVEMAN CLUB
  • DLC2_WPN_COST_BAT_POLE_DESC = ... so be good, for goodness' sake.
  • DLC2_WPN_COST_BAT_POLE_NAME = THE NORTH POLE
  • DLC2_WPN_COST_DISINT_DESC = Run for your lives!
  • DLC2_WPN_COST_DISINT_NAME = KAIJU-XL
  • DLC2_WPN_COST_SWORD_DESC = It only -looks- impractical.
  • DLC2_WPN_COST_SWORD_NAME = BRAVER SWORD
  • DLC2_WPN_DUBSTEP_COST_DESC = Chock full of that holiday spirit!
  • DLC2_WPN_DUBSTEP_COST_NAME = CHRISTMASTIME
  • DLC2_XMAS_BOUNCE_DESC = Now with ricochet action! Just don't shoot your eye out.
  • DLC2_XMAS_BOUNCE_NAME = CRIMSON COWBOY
  • DLC2_XMAS_BOUNCE_WPN_DESC = Fires a ricocheting pellet that's deadlier than it looks.
  • DLC2_XMAS_BOUNCE_WPN_NAME = XMAS BB GUN
  • DLC2_XMAS_QUEST_DESC = Just kidding! You've been very nice, and Santa has lots of unlockable homies, outfits, and vehicles for you.
  • DLC2_XMAS_QUEST_NAME = SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR
  • DLC3_WPN_COST_DESC_BRADY_SMG = It has all the answers you'll ever need.
  • DLC3_WPN_COST_DESC_HILLBILLY_SGN = "It don't need your fancy, citified 'aiming' or nuthin."
  • DLC3_WPN_COST_NAME_BRADY_SMG = BG-40
  • DLC3_WPN_COST_NAME_HILLBILLY_SGN = HILLBILLY
  • DLC4_COST_HMG_DESC = Peace through superior firepower
  • DLC4_COST_HMG_NAME = REYNOLDS .50
  • DLC4_WEP_HMG_DESC = Bigger, Slower, More Powerful
  • DLC4_WEP_HMG_NAME = HEAVY MACHINE GUN
  • DLC4_WEP_UPGRADE_HMG_DESC = The gun now hits so hard that each bullet creates a small kinetic explosion, further increasing damage.
  • DLC4_WEP_UPGRADE_HMG_NAME = HEAVY IMPACT
  • DLC5_HOMIES_ANTHONY = ANTHONY BURCH
  • DLC5_HOMIES_ANTHONY_DESC = Anthony can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC5_HOMIES_ASH = ASHLY BURCH
  • DLC5_HOMIES_ASH_DESC = Ashly can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. She will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC5_HOMIES_PAPA = PAPA BURCH
  • DLC5_HOMIES_PAPA_DESC = Papa Burch can be called into the simulation from your HUB "PHONE" menu. He will help the Saints in combat.
  • DLC5_SUPER_BLAST_DESC = Blast causes human targets to explode, which then causes others to explode. How big of a chain reaction can you start?\n\nDouble tap {SUPER_QUICK_FREEZE_IMG} to quick-switch between Blast Elements. Or switch Elements in the Powers menu.
  • DLC5_SUPER_BLAST_NAME = BLAST ELEMENT - EXPLOSION
  • DLC5_SUPER_BLAST_UI = EXPLOSION
  • DLC5_SUPER_BUFF_DESC = Enemies that get too close become human time bombs, and your shots get added explosive power!\n\nDouble tap {SUPER_QUICK_SHIELD_IMG} to quick-switch between Buff Elements. Or switch Elements in the Powers menu.
  • DLC5_SUPER_BUFF_NAME = BUFF ELEMENT - EXPLOSION
  • DLC5_SUPER_BUFF_UI = EXPLOSION
  • DLC5_SUPER_PAK_DESC = An arsenal of highly-explosive elements for your super-powers ... it's the bomb!
  • DLC5_SUPER_PAK_NAME = ELEMENT OF DESTRUCTION PACK
  • DLC5_SUPER_STOMP_DESC = Stomp now sends some of your human targets flying off like rockets ... highly explosive, multiple-warhead rockets.\n\nDouble tap {SUPER_QUICK_STOMP_IMG} to quick-switch between Elements. Or switch Elements in the Powers menu.
  • DLC5_SUPER_STOMP_NAME = STOMP ELEMENT - EXPLOSION
  • DLC5_SUPER_STOMP_UI = EXPLOSION
  • DLC5_SUPER_TK_DESC = People and vehicles become bombs when picked up and thrown. Don't hold on to them too long!\n\nDouble tap {SUPER_QUICK_TELEKINESIS_IMG} to quick-switch between Elements. Or switch Elements in the Powers menu.
  • DLC5_SUPER_TK_NAME = TK ELEMENT - EXPLOSION
  • DLC5_SUPER_TK_UI = EXPLOSION
  • DLC5_UNL_ALERT_HEYASH_DESC = The Burch clan have joined the Saints, and you can now call them as homies from your phone.
  • DLC5_UNL_ALERT_HEYASH_NAME = "HEY ASH, WHATCHA PLAYIN'?" PACK
  • DLC5_UNL_ALERT_ZINYAK_DESC = Get your Zin on with these alien outfits, which are now available in your wardrobe!
  • DLC5_UNL_ALERT_ZINYAK_NAME = ZINYAK ATTACK PACK
  • DLC5_UNL_HOMIE_ANTHONY_DESC = Let Anthony help you save the world. Or not. Whatever.
  • DLC5_UNL_HOMIE_ANTHONY_NAME = HOMIE - ANTHONY BURCH
  • DLC5_UNL_HOMIE_ASH_DESC = "Hey Ash! Wanna be my homie?"
  • DLC5_UNL_HOMIE_ASH_NAME = HOMIE - ASHLY BURCH
  • DLC5_UNL_HOMIE_PAPA_DESC = Give Papa a cameo in your adventures.
  • DLC5_UNL_HOMIE_PAPA_NAME = HOMIE - PAPA BURCH
  • DLC5_UNL_THANKS_DESC = Thank You For Playing. New clothing items are now available in your wardrobe!
  • DLC5_UNL_THANKS_NAME = THANK YOU PACK
  • DLC5_WPN_ARC_COST_DESC = For people who like to think big.
  • DLC5_WPN_ARC_COST_NAME = OPPRESSOR MINELAYER
  • DLC5_WPN_ARC_DESC = Flings mines that zap nearby enemies.
  • DLC5_WPN_FLAK_COST_DESC = Truly heavy metal.
  • DLC5_WPN_FLAK_COST_NAME = OPPRESSOR MINIGUN
  • DLC5_WPN_FLAK_DESC = Fills the air with a barrage of flak.
  • DLC5_WPN_FLAK_NAME = FLAK CANNON
  • DLC6_SUPER_BLAST_DESC = Fires a powerful blast with superior damage and recharge, with one catch - it costs cache to use it.\n\nDouble tap {SUPER_QUICK_FREEZE_IMG} to quick-switch between Blast Elements. Or switch Elements in the Powers menu.
  • DLC6_SUPER_BLAST_NAME = BLAST ELEMENT - BLING
  • DLC6_SUPER_BLAST_UI = BLING
  • DLC6_SUPER_BUFF_DESC = Gain the Midas touch! Enemies killed while buff is active drop more cache, and nearby enemies actually get turned to gold!\n\nDouble tap {SUPER_QUICK_SHIELD_IMG} to quick-switch between Buff Elements. Or switch Elements in the Powers menu.
  • DLC6_SUPER_BUFF_NAME = BUFF ELEMENT - BLING
  • DLC6_SUPER_BUFF_UI = BLING
  • DLC6_SUPER_STOMP_DESC = Make it rain! Money drops from the sky, distracting citizens and foes alike. Costs cache to use.\n\nDouble tap {SUPER_QUICK_STOMP_IMG} to quick-switch between Elements. Or switch Elements in the Powers menu.
  • DLC6_SUPER_STOMP_NAME = STOMP ELEMENT - BLING
  • DLC6_SUPER_STOMP_UI = BLING
  • DLC6_SUPER_TK_DESC = Shake down your targets, using this power to suck cache from their pocket to yours!\n\nDouble tap {SUPER_QUICK_TELEKINESIS_IMG} to quick-switch between Elements. Or switch Elements in the Powers menu.
  • DLC6_SUPER_TK_NAME = TK ELEMENT - BLING
  • DLC6_SUPER_TK_UI = BLING
  • DLC6_UNL_CHILD_ALERT_DESC = Digital Dino and Robochimp outfits have been unlocked in your wardrobe, and the Retro Racer has been placed in your garage.
  • DLC6_UNL_CHILD_ALERT_NAME = CHILD'S PLAY CHARITY PACK
  • DLC6_UNL_COED_ALERT_DESC = Your college-themed clothing awaits in your wardrobe, and check your garage for a bar stool vehicle!
  • DLC6_UNL_COED_ALERT_NAME = COLLEGE DAZE PACK
  • DLC6_UNL_COMMCLOTHES_DESC = You asked for them, you got 'em! The Space Pimp and Freckle Bitches Delivery costumes can now be found in your wardrobe.
  • DLC6_UNL_COMMCLOTHES_NAME = REVERSE COSPLAY PACK
  • DLC6_UNL_SPORT_ALERT_DESC = Sports-themed clothing, weapon costumes and an ice resurfacer have been unlocked for you.
  • DLC6_UNL_SPORT_ALERT_NAME = GAME ON PACK
  • DLC6_WPN_GOLF_DESC = For when you're really tee'd off
  • DLC6_WPN_GOLF_NAME = GOLF CLUB
  • DLC6_WPN_HOCKEY_DESC = Good day for a brawl, eh?
  • DLC6_WPN_HOCKEY_NAME = HOCKEY STICK
  • DLC7_WPN_GOTY_DESC = Look what a little old 'merican ingenuity (and some moonshine-induced hallucinations) dreamed up!
  • DLC7_WPN_GOTY_NAME = GRASS ROOTS 'MERICA
  • GENKIHOLIDAY = GENKI HOLIDAY SPECIAL
  • GENKIHOLIDAY_DESC = THROW A HOLIDAY PARTY
  • MAP_ICON_GENKI_HOLIDAY_NAME = GENKI HOLIDAY SPECIAL
  • MAP_ICON_NAUGHTY_NICE_NAME = NAUGHTY AND NICE
  • NAUGHTYNICE = NAUGHTY AND NICE
  • NAUGHTYNICE_DESC = FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY OR NICE
  • REMOTE_PLAYER_NOT_LICENSED = WARNING
  • REMOTE_PLAYER_NOT_LICENSED_MSG = Your co-op partner does not have the required downloadable content to access this content.
  • SANTA_GLOVES01 = SANTA GLOVES
  • START_GENKIHOLIDAY = START GENKI HOLIDAY SPECIAL
  • START_NAUGHTYNICE = START NAUGHTY AND NICE
  • UNL_DESC_DLC3_BRADY_ALERT = Put those strategy guide tips to good use with this handy (and deadly) submachine gun.
  • UNL_DESC_DLC3_DUBSTEP_ALERT = Murder 'em with metal, slam 'em with swing, obliterate 'em with opera, or just opt for the sublime power of polka.
  • UNL_DESC_DLC3_HILLBILLY_ALERT = Get your rural on, with outfits, weapons, and a radically rustic truck that reflect a more ? unsophisticated lifestyle.
  • UNL_DESC_DLC3_PRESIDENT_ALERT = You've been the president, now look like one with outfits, wigs and rubber masks that aren't just money, but look like they should be ON money.
  • UNL_DESC_DLC4_GATV_ALERT = Gat V Description
  • UNL_DESC_DLC4_GUNSLINGER_ALERT = Gunslinger Description
  • UNL_DLC3_BRADY_ALERT = BRADYGAMES PACK
  • UNL_DLC3_DUBSTEP_ALERT = DUBSTEP GUN (REMIX) PACK
  • UNL_DLC3_HILLBILLY_ALERT = GRASS ROOTS PACK
  • UNL_DLC3_PRESIDENT_ALERT = PRESIDENTIAL PACK
  • UNL_DLC4_GATV_ALERT = Gat V
  • UNL_DLC4_GUNSLINGER_ALERT = Gunslinger
  • UNL_PACK_GAT_DESC = Gat clothes, Gat hair, and a really cool knifegun. It's Gat-tacular! And Johnny would kill us for making that word up.
  • UNL_PACK_GAT_NAME = GATV PACK
  • UNL_PACK_GUNSLINGER_DESC = Reckon you'll look like one mean hombre with these weapon costumes and clothing items. A-yep.
  • UNL_PACK_GUNSLINGER_NAME = GUNSLINGER PACK
  • UNL_WEP_GUNSLINGER_DESC = Show 'em you're one mean hombre with these.\n\nPump-Action Shotgun, Quickshot Pistol
  • UNL_WEP_GUNSLINGER_NAME = GUNSLINGER WEAPON COSTUMES
  • UNL_WEP_HMG_NAME = HMG WEAPON COSTUME
  • UNL_WEP_HMGL_DESC = Why just fire lots of bullets when you can fire lots of BIG bullets?\n\n Thumpgun
  • UNL_WEP_KNIFEGUN_DESC = Why bring a knife to a gunfight when you can bring both? The Eviscerator bleeds targets over time. It's in your Gateway Weapons Cache.
  • UNL_WEP_KNIFEGUN_NAME = WEAPON - KNIFEGUN
  • WPN_COST_GUNSLINGER_PIST_DESC = "You gonna do somethin', or you just gonna stand there and bleed?"
  • WPN_COST_GUNSLINGER_PIST_NAME = TOMBSTONE SPECIAL
  • WPN_COST_GUNSLINGER_SGN_DESC = Cures all ailments with just one pull of the trigger
  • WPN_COST_GUNSLINGER_SGN_NAME = DEADWOOD DOC
  • WPN_COST_KNIFEGUN_DESC = Johnny named it himself
  • WPN_COST_KNIFEGUN_NAME = THE EVISCERATOR
  • WPN_COST_PISTOL_FLINT_DESC = For all yer pillagin' an' plunderin' needs!
  • WPN_COST_PISTOL_FLINT_NAME = FLINTLOCK
  • WPN_COST_RIFLE_FLINT_DESC = It'll knock a parrot off yer mate's shoulder at 300 paces. Yarrr! (or is it 'Arrrr!'?)
  • WPN_COST_RIFLE_FLINT_NAME = FLINTLOCK
  • WPN_COST_THUMPGUN_HMG_DESC = Peace through superior firepower
  • WPN_COST_THUMPGUN_HMG_NAME = REYNOLDS .50 HMG
  • WPN_KNIFEGUN_DESC = Fires knives and causes targets to take bleeding damage over time.
  • WPN_KNIFEGUN_NAME = KNIFETHROWER
  • WPN_UPGRADE_KNIFEGUN_DESC = Knife ammo now never depletes. Because you can never have too many knives.
  • WPN_UPGRADE_KNIFEGUN_NAME = A GIFT FROM JOHNNY
  • WPN_UPGRADE_PLUNGER_ULT_DESC = The gas from exploding plungers now kills most targets outright.
  • WPN_UPGRADE_PLUNGER_ULT_NAME = SILENT BUT DEADLY

MissionsEdit

  • DLC1_M01_FAILURE_HOMIE_DIS = HOMIE DISMISSED!
  • DLC1_M01_FAILURE_JOSH_DIED = JOSH DIED!
  • DLC1_M01_FAILURE_KINZIE_DIED = KINZIE DIED!
  • DLC1_M01_FAILURE_PIERCE_DIED = PIERCE DIED!
  • DLC1_M01_FAILURE_SHAUNDI_DIED = SHAUNDI DIED!
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_DEFEAT_ZINYAK = FIGHT [format][color:kill]ZINYAK[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_FINISH_HIM = FINISH [format][color:use]HIM[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_GET_CAR = GET IN [format][color:location]CAR[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_GET_MAYOR = GET TO [format][color:location]MAYOR[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_GET_WEAPON = GET [format][color:use]WEAPONS[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_GOTO_ZINYAK = CONFRONT [format][color:location]ZINYAK[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_HELIPAD = GO TO [format][color:location]HELIPAD[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_KILL_ALIENS = KILL [format][color:kill]ALIENS[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_KILL_TANKS = DESTROY [format][color:kill]TANKS[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_KILL_UFO = DESTROY [format][color:kill]UFOS[/format]
  • DLC1_M01_OBJ_PARACHUTE = PARACHUTE [format][color:location]DOWN[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_FAILURE_DONNIE_DIED = DONNIE DIED!
  • DLC1_M02_HUD_BAIT = BAIT THE LINE
  • DLC1_M02_HUD_CATCH = CATCH THE DOMINATRIX
  • DLC1_M02_HUD_DISABLE_FIELD = DISABLE FIELD
  • DLC1_M02_HUD_ENABLE_DAMAGE = ACTIVATE TRAP
  • DLC1_M02_HUD_LOCK = LOCK THE TARGET
  • DLC1_M02_HUD_SPREAD = SPREAD THE NET
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_DEFEAT_DOM = DEFEAT [format][color:kill]DOMINATRIX[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_DESTROY_DOM = DESTROY [format][color:kill]DOMINATRIX[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_FIGHT_DOM = FIGHT [format][color:kill]DOMINATRIX[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_FREE_HOMIES = FREE [format][color:use]HOMIES[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_FREE_PIERCE = FREE [format][color:use]PIERCE[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_GET_TO_DOM = GET TO [format][color:location]DOMINATRIX[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_GO_TO_SHAUNDI = GO TO [format][color:location]SHAUNDI[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_KILL_TROOPS = KILL [format][color:kill]DOMINATRIX FORCES[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_SAVE_KINZIE = SAVE [format][color:location]KINZIE[/format
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_SAVE_PIERCE = SAVE [format][color:location]PIERCE[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_TRAP_DOM = TRAP [format][color:kill]DOMINATRIX[/format]
  • DLC1_M02_OBJ_USE_NODE = USE [format][color:use]DEVICE[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OBJ_BEAT_PATRON = BEAT [format][color:kill]PATRON[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OBJ_DEFEAT_DOM = DEFEAT [format][color:kill]DOM[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OBJ_ELIMINATE_RACERS = ELIMINATE [format][color:kill]RACERS[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OBJ_GOTO_DOM = TALK TO [format][color:location]DOM[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OBJ_KILL_COMPETITION = KILL [format][color:kill]COMPETITION[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OBJ_KILL_MINION = KILL [format][color:kill]GIMPS[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OBJ_SERVICE = SERVICE [format][color:location]CLIENT[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OBJ_WIN_RACE = WIN [format][color:kill]RACE[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OJB_TK_FURRIES = COLLECT [format][color:power_tele]FURRIES[/format]
  • DLC1_M03_OPEN_DOOR = OPEN DOOR
  • DLC1_M04_OBJ_DEPLOY_CARGO = DEPLOY [format][color:use]CARGO[/format]
  • DLC1_M04_OBJ_FIND_CENTER = FIND [format][color:location]BRAIN[/format]
  • DLC1_M04_OBJ_GET_OUT = GET [format][color:location]OUT[/format]
  • DLC1_M04_OBJ_SHAKE_SHIP = SHAKE [format][color:use]SHIP[/format]
  • DLC1_M04_OBJ_SHOOT_POPTOP = SHOOT [format][color:kill]POPTOP[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ__GOTO_DONNIE = GET TO [format][color:location]DONNIE[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ__GOTO_SHAUNDI = GET TO [format][color:location]SHAUNDI[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_DELIVER_HO = DELIVER [format][color:location]HOOKER[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_DESTROY_DEFENSES = DESTROY [format][color:kill]DEFENSES[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_DESTROY_FIREWALL = DESTROY [format][color:kill]FIREWALL[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_DESTROY_VTOLS = DESTROY [format][color:kill]VTOLS[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_ENTER_DEVICE = ENTER [format][color:use]DEVICE[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_ESCAPE_SIMULATION = ESCAPE [format][color:location]SIMULATION[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_FIND_ZINYORK = FIND [format][color:location]ZIN-YORK[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_FINISH_DOMINATRIX = FINISH [format][color:kill]DOMINATRIX[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_GO_TO_MILL = GO TO [format][color:location]MILL[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_GOTO_HELIPAD = GO TO [format][color:location]HELIPAD[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_KILL_DOMINATRIX = KILL [format][color:kill]DOMINATRIX[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_KILL_SUPERGIMP = KILL [format][color:kill]SUPERGIMP[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_PICKUP_HO = PICKUP [format][color:location]HOOKER[/format]
  • DLC1_M05_OBJ_PROTECT_ZINYORK = PROTECT [format][color:defend]ZIN-YORK[/format]
  • DLC1_MISSION_NAME_M01 = SAVE THE PLANET
  • DLC1_MISSION_NAME_M02 = MEET THE DOMINATRIX
  • DLC1_MISSION_NAME_M03 = AT THE RACES
  • DLC1_MISSION_NAME_M04 = POP HIS TOP
  • DLC1_MISSION_NAME_M05 = ESCAPE THE DOMINATRIX
  • DLC1_MSN_PRE_CALL_OBJ_M03 = RETURN TO THE [format][color:location]SHIP[/format]
  • DLC1_QUEST_DESC = Boss, I found some of our old Deleted Scenes and now Jane Valderamma wants to interview us!
  • DLC1_QUEST_NAME = ENTER THE DOMINATRIX
  • DLC2_M01_ACTIVATE_PROJECTOR = TURN ON THE [format][color:use]PROJECTOR[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_BREAK_ICE = BREAK THE [format][color:kill]ICE[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_CARRY_MODULE = CARRY THE [format][color:power_tele]PROJECTOR[/format] TO THE [format][color:location]DRIVE-IN[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_DEFEND_MODULE = DEFEND THE [format][color:defend]PROJECTOR[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_FAIL_CID_DIED = CID DIED
  • DLC2_M01_FAIL_SANTA_DIED = SANTA DIED
  • DLC2_M01_FAIL_SHAUNDI_DIED = SHAUNDI DIED
  • DLC2_M01_FIND_LAST_WEAPONS = RING ONE [format][color:use]LAST BELL[/format] OR SHOOT ALL THE [format][color:kill]BELLS[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_FIND_PROJECTOR = GO FIND THE [format][color:location]PROJECTOR[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_FIND_WEAPONS = RING THE [format][color:use]HOLIDAY BELLS[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_FINISH_CLAUS = FINISH [format][color:use]CLAWZ[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_FINISH_CLAWZ = FINISH [format][color:kill]CLAWZ[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_GET_RED_RYDER = GET THE [format][color:use]CRIMSON COWBOY[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_GOTO_PARK = GO TO THE [format][color:location]PARK[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_GOTO_RYDER_STORE = GO TO THE [format][color:location]STORE[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_HUD_KILL_CLAUS = FINISH CLAWZ
  • DLC2_M01_HUD_REVIVE_SANTA = REVIVE [format][color:revive]SANTA[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_KILL_CLAWZ = KILL [format][color:kill]CLAWZ[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_KILL_ENEMIES = CLEAR OUT THE PARK
  • DLC2_M01_KILL_GUARDS = KILL [format][color:kill]GUARDS[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_KILL_SLEIGH = KNOCK DOWN THE [format][color:kill]SLEIGH[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_ANTENNA = HELP CID WITH THE [format][color:location]ANTENNA[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_NO_1_BODY = HE CAn't BE SERIOUS
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_NO_1_REMOVE =
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_NO_1b_BODY = HE MUST BE JOKING
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_NO_2_BODY = A DARE? BIG DEAL
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_NO_3_BODY = I DON'T CAVE TO PEER PRESSURE
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_NO_TITLE = REFUSE
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_YES_1_BODY = WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_YES_2_BODY = MAYBE IT WOn't BE THAT BAD
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_YES_3_BODY = WELL, IT IS TO SAVE CHRISTMAS...
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_YES_4_BODY = DEFEND YOUR PRIDE
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_YES_4b_BODY = EVEN SANTA CALLED YOU OUT
  • DLC2_M01_LICK_YES_TITLE = AGREE
  • DLC2_M01_PROTECT_CID = PROTECT [format][color:defend]CID[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_RETURN_DRIVIN = RETURN TO THE [format][color:location]DRIVE-IN[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_REVIVE_SANTA = REVIVE [format][color:revive]SANTA[/format]
  • DLC2_M01_RING_BELL = RING THE BELL
  • DLC2_M01_SMASH_GLASS = TAKE THE CRIMSON COWBOY
  • DLC2_M01_TAKEDOWN_NASTY_BODY = SHOW THE WORLD WHY NOONE MESSES WITH THE BOSS
  • DLC2_M01_TAKEDOWN_NASTY_TITLE = NASTY
  • DLC2_M01_TAKEDOWN_NAUGHTY_BODY = THIS ENDS NOW
  • DLC2_M01_TAKEDOWN_NAUGHTY_TITLE = NAUGHTY
  • DLC2_M01_TURN_PROJECTOR_ON = TURN THE PROJECTOR ON
  • DLC2_M02_CHASE_BUDDY = CHASE [format][color:location]TWINKLE[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_CLEAR_COURTYARD = CLEAR [format][color:kill]COURTYARD[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_CLEAR_WORKSHOP = CLEAR [format][color:kill]WORKSHOP[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_CRUSH_REBELLION = CRUSH [format][color:kill]REBELLION[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_DEFEAT_BUDDY = DEFEAT THE [format][color:kill]GIANT ELVES[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_DISABLE_REINDEER = DISABLE [format][color:use]REINDEER[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_DRIVE_CLAUSE_AWAY = DEFEAT [format][color:kill]CLAWZ[/format] WITH CHRISTMAS GUN
  • DLC2_M02_EXIT_WORKSHOP = EXIT [format][color:location]WORKSHOP[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_GET_DISGUISE = GET [format][color:use]DISGUISE[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_GET_IN_SLEIGH = GET IN [format][color:location]SLEIGH[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_GO_TO_COURTYARD = GO TO [format][color:location]COURTYARD[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_GO_TO_SANTAS_ROOM = GO TO [format][color:location]SANTA'S ROOM[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_GO_TO_SORTER = GO TO [format][color:location]PRESENT SORTER[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_GO_TO_STABLES = GO TO [format][color:location]STABLES[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_GO_TO_WAREHOUSE = GO TO [format][color:location]WAREHOUSE[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_GO_TO_WORKSHOP_DOOR = GO TO [format][color:location]WORKSHOP DOOR[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_LICK = LICK [format][color:use]DOOR[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_PUT_ON_DISGUISE = PUT ON [format][color:use]PRESENT[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_REMOVE_DISGUISE = REMOVE [format][color:use]DISGUISE[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_SEARCH_PRESENTS = SEARCH [format][color:use]PRESENTS[/format]
  • DLC2_M02_STABLES_OR_DOOR = GO TO [format][color:location]STABLES[/format] OR LICK [format][color:use]DOOR[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_FAIL_MRS_CLAUS = MRS CLAUS DIED!
  • DLC2_M03_FAIL_SHAUNDI = SHAUNDI DIED!
  • DLC2_M03_FAIL_SLEIGH_DESTROYED = THE SLEIGH WAS DESTROYED!
  • DLC2_M03_FAIL_TIME_EXPIRED = YOU RAN OUT OF TIME!
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_CONFRONT_CLAUS = CONFRONT [format][color:location]CLAWZ[format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_DEFEAT_CLAUS = DEFEAT [format][color:kill]CLAWZ[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_DELIVER_CLAUS_GIFT = DELIVER [format][color:location]MRS. CLAUS'S GIFT[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_DELIVER_FINAL_GIFT = DELIVER [format][color:power_tele]YOUR GIFT[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_DELIVER_GIFTS = DELIVER [format][color:location]PRESENTS[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_DELIVER_KINZIES_GIFT = DELIVER [format][color:location]KINZIE'S GIFT[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_DELIVER_SHAUNDIS_GIFT = DELIVER [format][color:location]SHAUNDI'S GIFT[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_FESTIVUS_POLE = PERFORM [format][color:power_pound]FEAT OF STRENGTH[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_GO_TO_CHIMNEY_AREA = [format][color:location]DELIVER[/format] PRESENTS
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_GO_TO_POLE = GO TO [color:location]POLE[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_GRAB_CLAUS_GIFT = GRAB [format][color:power_tele]MRS. CLAUS'S GIFT[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_GRAB_KINZIES_GIFT = GRAB [format][color:power_tele]KINZIE'S GIFT[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_GRAB_PRESENTS = GRAB [format][color:power_tele]PRESENTS[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_GRAB_SHAUNDIS_GIFT = GRAB [format][color:power_tele]SHAUNDI'S GIFT[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_KILL_MINIONS = ATTACK [format][color:kill]SHIELD[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_LIGHT_KINARA = LIGHT [format][color:power_blast]KINARA[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_LIGHT_MENORAH = LIGHT [format][color:power_blast]MENORAH[/format]
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_RAISE_CHEER = RAISE HOLIDAY CHEER
  • DLC2_M03_OBJ_RETURN_CLAWZ = RETURN TO [format][color:location]CLAWZ[/format]
  • DLC2_MISSION_NAME_M01 = MIRACLE ON 3RD STREET
  • DLC2_MISSION_NAME_M02 = THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
  • DLC2_MISSION_NAME_M03 = THE SANTA CLAWZ
  • DLC2_MSN_PRE_CALL_OBJ = RETURN TO THE [format][color:location]SHIP[/format]
  • DLC2_QUEST_DESC = it's the most wonderful time of the year and we must keep the holidays alive!
  • DLC2_QUEST_NAME = HOW THE SAINTS SAVE CHRISTMAS
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG1 = Mash {ACTION_IMG} to lick candy cane.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG10 = Wow. You are really persistent.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG11 = We didn't expect anyone to actually make it this far.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG12 = You just like the noise, don't you?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG13 = Sicko.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG14 = I hope no children are around.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG15 = What do you have against candy canes?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG16 = Candy canes love you. Why don't you love them?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG17 = Or maybe you do love candy canes. Too much.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG18 = Did you know candy canes are naturally fat-free?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG19 = It'd probably be quicker if you just bit through it.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG2 = Keep pressing {ACTION_IMG}
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG20 = But you can't.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG21 = It would break your teeth.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG22 = Your dentist is picking out a new yacht because of you.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG23 = Would you have licked this if it was blueberry-flavored?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG24 = I wouldn't.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG25 = Don't worry. I'm sure Clawz will wait until you're finished.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG26 = Remember what happened to Hansel and Gretel?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG27 = Type-2 diabetes is on the rise, you know.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG28 = I'm sure you'll be fine though.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG29 = Do you really want the reward that bad?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG3 = Just a little bit longer.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG30 = Wow, you're halfway there!
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG31 = Just kidding.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG32 = Is your finger getting tired?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG33 = Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG34 = DONE!
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG4 = Almost there!
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG5 = Okay, I lied about being almost there.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG6 = You can do it!
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG7 = Actually, you should give up.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG8 = No, really, this is going to take a while.
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_LICK_MSG9 = Don't you have other things to do?
  • TUT_DLC2_M02_TITLE_LICK_MSG = Candy Cane Licking
  • TUT_DLC2_M03_STORM_WARNING = FLY LOWER TO REGAIN VISIBILITY.
  • TUT_TITLE_DLC2_M03_STORM_WARNING = DIGITAL BLIZZARD

CutscenesEdit

  • DLC1_Story_01_in_01_Jane = So. What exactly is Enter the Dominatrix?
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_02_Player = Oh man, are we really digging that up?
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_03_Kinzie = It was really weird.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_04_Pierce = It was amazing.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_05_Shaundi = Worst idea we've ever had.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_06_Jane = Really?
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_07_Shaundi = The script made no sense. Like. At all. Saints Row 4 was way more elegant.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_08_Jane = Pierce seemed to like it.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_09_Shaundi = Of course he liked it, it started off with him as mayor of Steelport.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_10_Jane = Wait... if Pierce was mayor that means Mayor Reynolds and you were...
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_11_Shaundi = Like I said. Worst idea we've ever had.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_12_Pierce = My administration was tough. But fair. I'd like to think the Boss based their Presidential performance on me.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_13_Player = Yeah, that didn't happen.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_14_Zinyak = Of course, originally they just booked me for a guest appearance, but I just chewed up the scenery so much they had to keep me. Of course I DID have to insist on several changes.
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_15_Jane = Such as?
  • DLC1_Story_01_in_16_Zinyak = Well for instance, in ETD - that's short for Enter the Dominatrix - the Zin arrived with much fanfare, assaulting the city of Steelport... but, you know, I don't want to spoil it for you, see the mission and you'll get what I wanted to change.
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_01_Shaundi = Oh no, here it comes!
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_02_Kinzie = It's going to destroy the city!
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_03_Player = We have to do something!
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_04_Birk = Stay back! I... will handle this.
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_05_Player = Josh, nooo!
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_06_Shaundi = He's so brave.
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_07_Kinzie = You are truly a hero, Josh Birk.
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_08_Shaundi = Nooooo!
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_09_Kinzie = No!
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_10_Birk = Earn this...
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_11_Birk = Earn... This...
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_12_Kinzie = We will never forget your sacrifice.
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_13_Shaundi = I never got to tell him how I feel.
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_14_Player = ZINYAK!
  • DLC1_Story_01_mid_15_Birk = That's how I remember it anyway.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_01_Jane = Donnie. Thanks for agreeing to this interview. I'm really excited to get an outsider's perspective.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_02_Donnie = Outsider? What are you talking about? I was like the main character of Saints Row 4.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_03_Jane = You weren't in Saints Row 4.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_04_Donnie = What.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_05_Jane = It's already out. You weren't in it.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_06_Donnie = Are you serious?
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_07_Shaundi = We probably should have told him.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_08_Player = He was just so excited, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_09_Donnie = Now I get what Dex is complaining about all the time?
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_10_Jane = So what are we about to see?
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_11_Kinzie = Well, after Zinyak gets killed there is no one left to control the simulation, and in order to establish the order the AI became sentient... taking the form of a Dominatrix.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_12_Jane = Hence the name "Enter The Dominatrix."
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_13_Kinzie = Yep, single entendre. Very clever. Anyway, The Dominatrix takes control over Zinyak's fleet and abducts everyone. That's where we meet Donnie who takes on a sort of guru role and teaches all of us how to bend the rules of the simulation.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_14_Jane = What was it like working with Donnie?
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_15_Kinzie = It was fun. He's a really nice guy.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_16_Jane = So why did he get cut?
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_17_Kinzie = Well you figure me, Matt, and Donnie all kind of fill the same techy Mary-Sue role. You only needed two of us to bicker, so Donnie had to go.
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_18_Jane = Why Donnie and not you or Matt?
  • DLC1_Story_02_in_19_Kinzie = Oh, Matt and I blackmailed the shit out of people. Enjoy the clip!
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_01_Jane = So you've rescued your friends... what comes next?
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_02_Player = A lot of bullshit filler missions.
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_03_Kinzie = I think there must have been like 4 escort missions in a row.
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_04_Shaundi = It was so bad. Take Pierce to terminal A. Protect Kinzie while she does nebulous task X. Guard Shaundi while she drives to the widget factory.
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_05_Kinzie = Ugh, that was the worst.
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_06_Pierce = That widget factory mission was fucking painful to sit through.
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_07_Matt = Worse than that Nyteblayde reboot.
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_08_Player = So anyway, we jump through an arbitrary number of hoops trying to track down this Dominatrix and lo and behold we find her.
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_09_Shaundi = In a sex club. How shocking.
  • DLC1_Story_03_in_10_Matt = That was our idea.
  • DLC1_Story_04_in_01_Jane = So you rescued Zimos. What's next?
  • DLC1_Story_04_in_02_Pierce = The Dominatrix orders Paul to terrorize the city and we need to figure out a way to stop it.
  • DLC1_Story_04_in_03_Matt = It was our darkest hour, and despair was filling the Saints. But Donnie came forward with a plan to save us all.
  • DLC1_Story_04_in_04_Kinzie = Let's not oversell it, he had us build a space ship.
  • DLC1_Story_04_in_05_Matt = As a team Kinzie. As. A. Team.
  • DLC1_Story_04_in_06_Donnie = You guys are at least showing the seven minute QTE montage of us building the ship to fight Paul right?
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_01_Player = Annnd what you're about to see now is the grand finale.
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_02_Jane = That's it?
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_03_Player = Look I don't think I can adequately justify what's about to happen?
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_04_Jane = Would you say The President's assessment of the ending of Enter the Dominatrix is fair?
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_05_Pierce = If anything they undersold it.
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_06_Shaundi = It's batshit.
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_07_Matt = I dunno, I think there's precedent.
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_08_Kinzie = Totally.
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_09_Donnie = I'll put it to you this way: It was too crazy for Saints Row.
  • DLC1_Story_05_in_10_Player = Enjoy.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_01_Donnie = We did it! The Dominatrix has fallen. Now we can leave this nightmare simulation.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_02_Zimos = We better get a move on though. The way out is gonna close.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_03_Shaundi = What the hell? Who is that? More Zin?
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_04_Zimos = I don't know. It doesn't look like one of theirs.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_05_Shaundi = Get ready boss, it could be anything.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_06_Donnie = Hold it, they're not attacking!
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_07_Zimos = Wait a minute, is that... ?
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_08_Pierce = That's right! Cut me out the mission? Psh, I brought the mother fuckin' cavalry.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_09_Shaundi = A... dinosaur?
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_10_dArtagnan = Greetings! My name is d'Artagnan. I am an emissary of Cirano, the king of a kind, space-faring people. We are enemies of the Zin.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_11_Player = Then you're a friend of ours, brother raptor. Well done, Pierce.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_12_Pierce = I've... I've waited so long to hear that.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_13_dArtagnan = The only way out is through a door, at the far end of the simulation.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_14_dArtagnan = We will help you escape, climb on my back! We ride!
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_15_Shaundi = Total. Fucking. Batshit.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_16_Zimos = Hell, I'm just glad you're not riding me.
  • DLC1_Story_05_mid_17_Player = Follow me, Saints! Out of the simulation, and to the ending cutscene!
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_01_Cirano = We velociraptors are a proud people. In the beginning we addressed the savagery of man by eating them. Later, we chose the path of enlightenment... Choosing to leave their world rather than be brought down by their baser instincts. But while humanity is capable of much cruelty, it is also capable of compassion. Of honor. And the Saints stand here as examples of that. BRING THE HEROES FORWARD!
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_02_Cirano = We are in your debt, Saints. What can Cirano, the Raptor King give to show his thanks?
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_03_Pierce = A dinosaur with guns.
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_04_Cirano = Done.
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_05_Cirano = What say you, young warrior?
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_06_Donnie = Respect. People need to take me seriously.
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_07_Cirano = Any who questions the wisdom of Donald shall answer to me!
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_08_Cirano = Ms. Kensington?
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_09_Kinzie = Vengeance.
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_10_Cirano = You shall have it.
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_11_Cirano = And you, fairest Shaundi?
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_12_Shaundi = Cirano? I want to be your queen.
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_13_Cirano = My Hand. My heart. My Kingdom. All belongs to you.
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_14_Cirano = Your subjects have named their reward. What can I do for you?
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_15_Player = You know, I'm pretty good actually. Want to go bowling, maybe?
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_16_Cirano = Yes. Yes I do.
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_17_Cirano = My people. We can not hide from the world any longer. We need to be a part of it? so that Raptor and Human can stand side by side in harmony! LET OUR NEW ERA BEGIN!
  • DLC1_Story_05_out_18_Donnie = Raptors unite!
  • DLC2_Story_02_in_01_FShaundi = Clawz has taken over Santa's workshop. He plans to deliver bombs and guns to children instead of, you know, dolls and trucks or whatever it is kids from your time like.
  • DLC2_Story_02_in_02_Fshaundi = The elves have mounted a resistance, but they will fail unless you help them. If Clawz succeeds the holidays are doomed. You must stop him!
  • DLC2_Story_03_in_01_Fshaundi = Clawz has holed up under a protective shield, gaining strength.
  • DLC2_Story_03_in_02_Fshaundi = At midnight he'll be unstoppable unless you can bring holiday cheer back to the people before the clock strikes twelve!
  • DLC2_Story_03_in_03_Fshaundi = Use Santa's sleigh to deliver presents to those on the nice list, and punish the naughty with coal.
  • DLC2_Story_03_in_04_Fshaundi = Hopefully we can kill the bastard and save the future from the hell I've lived.
  • DLC2_Story_GHS_01_Whack = Welcome to Professor Genki's Mind Over Murder: Holiday Edition!
  • DLC2_Story_GHS_02_Whack = Your goal: Grab revelers, menorahs, and trees with Telekinesis and throw them through the matching hoops in the time allowed.
  • DLC2_Story_GHS_03_Knobby = Hit multiple hoops with a single object to rack up combos, but aim your shots carefully because this time the targets move.
  • DLC2_Story_GHS_04_Knobby = Strap on your holiday cheer, because the fun starts RIGHT NOW!
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_01_JaneA = For nearly a decade we've watched the Saints as they rose from humble beginnings to becoming an unstoppable force of nature.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_02_JaneA = In that time we've seen how the Saints rose to power, we've seen how the Saints enact vengeance, we've even seen how the Saints united both humanity and velociraptors.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_03_JaneA = But for the first time ever, I share with you their most important story yet. For this, my friends, is How the Saints Saved Christmas.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_04_Kinzie = Boss, are you going to help or what?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_05_Player = Eh, wasn't planning on it.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_06_Shaundi = Come on, don't be such a Grinch!
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_07_Player = I don't even know what that means.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_08_Pierce = What sort of childhood did you have?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_09_Player = I just think there's more important things to think about than some bullshit holiday.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_10_Matt = Looks like someone never got on the Nice List.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_11_Player = And see, that's the thing. There is no Nice List.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_12_Shaundi = So Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Yule, Festivus? You don't care about any of it?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_13_Player = That's right.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_14_Pierce = You don't like the songs?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_15_Player = Nope.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_16_Shaundi = You don't like the gift giving?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_17_Player = I already take whatever I want.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_18_Shaundi = I said "giving."
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_19_Player = Whatever.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_20_Matt = You don't get excited about setting up the NyteBlayde nativity every year?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_21_Player = Uh, that's slightly intriguing, but no.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_22_Kinzie = What about Santa?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_23_Player = Fuck Santa.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_24_Player = What's happening, were we hit?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_25_Kinzie = No, the proximity alarm didn't go off. This is something different...
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_26_Pierce = Shaundi?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_27_Shaundi = Fuck me.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_28_FShaundi = We don't have a lot of time. Clawz is coming.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_29_Player = What.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_30_FShaundi = Clawz. A warlord from my time, your future. By the time we learned about him it was too late, he was too powerful. The only chance we had to stop him was to send me back here to warn you.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_31_Player = Wait wait wait. If you could go back in time, why didn't you go back even further and warn us about Zinyak? Isn't that a little more important?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_32_FShaundi = You don't get it. This isn't about Earth. Come midnight, Christmas Day, Santa Clawz is coming to town and unless we stop him, he is going to put the universe on the Naughty List.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_33_FShaundi = And trust me. You don't. Want. To be. On. The Naughty List.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_34_Player = Sorry I asked.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_35_Matt = So Santa is evil?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_36_FShaundi = No, Zinyak's had Santa trapped for decades, slowly but surely degrading his mind. If we don't free him soon it'll be too late, and he'll never be Jolly Old Saint Nick again.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_37_Player = Guys, this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_In_38_Player = All right, all right, I'll save Santa.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_01_Player = Fuck you, Clawz!
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_02_Santa = I just want to be clear... you can't murder your way onto the Nice List.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_03_Player = Santa, I...
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_04_Santa = You never believed in me... but despite that you spread cheer to the people of Steelport!
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_05_Santa = You saved the holiday, and for that, I thank you. But it takes more than one good deed to show a change of heart.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_06_Player = I know, Santa.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_07_Santa = Listen! The night isn't over yet. Experience the joy of Christmas!
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_08_Santa = Not because it will keep me from becoming a god-tyrant, but because it feels good to spread joy to strangers and build memories with family and friends.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_09_Santa = You do that, and I'll put you on the Nice List.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_10_Player = Are you sure there's time?
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_11_Santa = It's Christmas, there's always time for a miracle.
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_12_Santa = Hyaaaah!
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_13_Santa = Ho ho ho ho ho ho...
  • DLC2_Story_SSC_Out_14_Santa = Hello? Guys... ?

CollectiblesEdit

  • COL_CAT_XMAS_LETTER = LETTERS TO SANTA
  • COL_CAT_XMAS_TEXT = CHRISTMAS TEXT ADVENTURES
  • COL_LETTER_ASHA_01 = Santa,\n\nIn order to stop the Zin here and any that may still exist in the galaxy beyond our own solar system I require the following items:\n\n- The tactical layout of all Zin ship classes and battle stations\n- All access codes and physical keys for any area on said ships or stations\n- A complete account of all battle strategies used by the Zin Empire both currently and in the past
  • COL_LETTER_ASHA_02 = If you're willing to throw a personal request in there then I'd really like some ear plugs to keep Pierce's singing out of my head while I try to concentrate on my training.\n\nWith Love,\nAsha
  • COL_LETTER_BOSS_01 = Dear Santa,\n\nYou've taught me more about the Holiday Spirit then I've ever thought possible. Thank you. I'm new to this whole Christmas List thing, so bear with me.\n\n1. Whatever Pierce wants, it'll make him happy. I'm good with that.\n2. Whatever Shaundi wants, I'm sure she has her reasons so probably worth letting her have it.
  • COL_LETTER_BOSS_02 = 3. Whatever Keith wants he's certainly worked to deserve, so that's good for him.\n4. Whatever Ben wants is probably stuff most of us would find boring, but if it makes him smile then go for it.\n5. Whatever Kinzie wants I'm sure will benefit us all in the end, so I'm guessing we'd all like her to have it.\n6. Whatever Gat wants give it to him. Trust me, it's easier that way.
  • COL_LETTER_BOSS_03 = 7. Whatever Asha wants I'm sure she thinks is important and all, but make sure to throw in something nice and fun for her too. Maybe then she can relax a bit.\n8. Whatever Matt wants I suppose it's ok to let him have. Just don't tell me what it is and I'll probably be happier that way.\n9. Whatever CID wants...I'd probably check to make sure it's safe first. He has some odd tastes.\n10. And for me, a pony. that's the standard first gift to ask for, right?
  • COL_LETTER_BOSS_04 = Still Full of Holiday Spirit,\nThe Boss\n\nP.S. And I'm sorry I was such a Grinch (whatever that means as nobody bothered to explain it to me yet) and said "Fuck Santa" before. I didn't mean it. Well I did mean it at the time, but now I don't.
  • COL_LETTER_CID_01 = To the one known as Santa,\n\nIf I have been informed correctly then you are willing to accept letters which dictate requests for gifts by those who believe in you. As I am one who believes in such a concept then I am sending you this list for the upcoming Holiday Season.
  • COL_LETTER_CID_02 = 1. A robotic form complete with arms, legs, synthetic skin and fully functioning human anatomy\n2. If option 1 is not possible, then the following would be acceptable substitutes\n\na. A wider variety of attachable tools for my metal shell\nb. A modular voice program so I may sound like any individual I wish
  • COL_LETTER_CID_03 = c. A detachable wireless camera so I may spy on any room in the ship undetected\nd. Weapons of any kind so that I may not feel as vulnerable\ne. Fun Shaundi downloaded into my own memory matrix so I may have someone to talk to, even if only in my mind\nf. Extra strength lubricant\n\nCID
  • COL_LETTER_GAT_01 = Santa\n\nBring me the following\n\n- 4 .45 Fletcher heavy pistols\n- 2 9MM Tactical pistols
  • COL_LETTER_GAT_02 = - 2 Deacon 12-Gauge shotguns\n- A crate of SWAT SMGs\n- 2 crates of Shokolov AR rifles\n- 1 J7 Rocket Launcher with as many crates of ammo as you can find
  • COL_LETTER_GAT_03 = - 1 Knifethrower\n- 6 large knives\n- 2 small knives\n- 4 containers of hair gel\n\nGat
  • COL_LETTER_KEITH_01 = Santa,\n\nI'll make this simple. All I want this year is one thing: get me off this ship. Seriously, I signed up for 4 years as Vice President. This shit here is ridiculous.\n\nKeith David
  • COL_LETTER_KING_01 = Dear Santa,\n\nI know it's been rough for the human race right now, which is why I think sending this letter is so important. It reminds us all of the collective joy and happiness this time of year brings, even to those who are facing as much adversity as we are.
  • COL_LETTER_KING_02 = So with that in mind I have a few things I'd like to request if you have the time to deliver them. If not, I understand, Santa.\n\n- A nice fountain pen that's refillable\n- A new yellow scarf\n- A tailored silk suit\n- A box of cigars, I'm sure you remember my brand Santa
  • COL_LETTER_KING_03 = And that's all. I'm sorry I won't have the cookies you like from that corner bakery this year, but I hope you understand. Once we find a good kitchen and some supplies out here in space I'll see about whipping up a few batches of chocolate chip for you.\n\nWarmest Holiday Regards,\nBenjamin King
  • COL_LETTER_KINZIE_01 = Dear Santa,\n\nAs I'm absolutely positive you would agree I've been "nice" this year I wanted to send you a list of desired presents I would love to find tucked under my tree come Christmas. Feel free to bring me as many of these as you would like, though the more you do the better I can continue to save the collective rear-ends of the Saints and humanity. Here they are, in no particular order.
  • COL_LETTER_KINZIE_02 = 1. Prototype computer processor capable of quadrillions of instructions per second (the government has one in a secret lab somewhere)\n2. Neural interface for my laptop so I can connect it directly to my brain (also in a secret government lab, though I think it's a different lab)
  • COL_LETTER_KINZIE_03 = 3. Research on the existence of alien technologies so I can compare it to the Zin tech (look up Area 31, the secret government base that all Area 51 alien research was taken to after the public became too curious)\n4. Nanite technology specs from the government's secret program on...
  • COL_LETTER_KINZIE_04 = Ok, actually, I'll make this easier for you: if it's tech based and comes from secret government research labs that even the President doesn't know about, then I want it. I KNOW I can put it to better use than they've been since they couldn't even bother to stop the Zin from invading in the first place. Oh, and one more thing. A new leather harness and swing for...personal use.\n\nKinzie Kensington
  • COL_LETTER_MATT_01 = Dear Santa Claus,\n\nIf you find the time to stop by and drop presents off under our tree aboard the ship then I would really like the following few items.
  • COL_LETTER_MATT_02 = - The Complete Nyte Blayde DVD Collector's Edition boxed set\n- The Secrets of the Cyprian Order Collector's Edition book (signed by the show's writers!)\n- "Villains of the Nyte", the fan compendium of the many evils Nyte Blayde has faced over the years\n- The Nyte Blayde Swimsuit Limited Edition comic book
  • COL_LETTER_MATT_03 = - One dakimakura with The Bloody Canoness, one with Marion and one with Nyte Blayde\n- And one of everything Kinzie wants as well\n\nYour fan,\nMatt Miller
  • COL_LETTER_PIERCE_01 = Dear Santa,\n\nYou know I'm a man of few words and simple pleasures so I'll get right to it.\n\n1. A few cases of Saints Flow. I'm not picky about the flavor, I like them all. Oh, I know, go for the variety packs!\n2. A copy of all my commercials I did back on Earth. I'd like to have them for my portfolio just in case we come across some intergalactic talent agency that's looking for new up-and-coming onscreen actors. I know I'd kill it in outer space!
  • COL_LETTER_PIERCE_02 = 3. A full set of high-end recording equipment. You know, pre-amps, microphones, vintage Studer A-180 Reel to Reel Recorder, keyboards, etc. You'd think for being advanced alien technology they'd have good equipment but serious this Zin stuff is crap.\n4. If anyone else asked for a life-sized Saints Flow can with arms and legs and stuff, DO NOT GET IT FOR THEM! They just want to put it in my bunk while I sleep so when I wake up I freak the hell out.
  • COL_LETTER_PIERCE_03 = I think that's about it. I'm totally cool if I don't get all this stuff, so don't sweat it if you can't find the Saints Flow.\n\nBut item 4 is a must. Seriously, that's just not cool.\n\nPierce Washington
  • COL_LETTER_SHAUNDI_01 = Dear Santa,\n\nI know I wasn't always a "good girl" in the past, but I'd like to think I've changed for the better this year. Really hoping I made it onto the nice list, because if Pierce did and I didn't then I'd never hear the end of it. Plus I think you'll find my wish list to be rather short and totally in the spirit of the Holidays, so here it goes!
  • COL_LETTER_SHAUNDI_02 = I wish for you to give my younger self the best Christmas she's ever had.\n\nI know, not what even I expected to say but here's the thing; I never had a good Christmas after my family left as I'm sure you of all people know, Santa. I was either too stoned out of my mind or too busy being with awful boyfriends who never really cared.
  • COL_LETTER_SHAUNDI_03 = I just thought it'd be nice for younger me to experience a good Holiday like she used to. After all, I was kinda mean to her when I found her in the simulation, but I've totally realized she's still a part of me that I needed to accept. And I know how much it would've meant to me back then to get gifts that didn't come from the gas station or some back alley light bulb.
  • COL_LETTER_SHAUNDI_04 = So that's it. Just make her happy and I'll be happy.\n\nForever Hopeful,\nShaundi\n\nP.S. Oh, and in case you didn't know, she's stuck in the simulation so you'll probably have to go in there to deliver the presents. Or get Kinzie to program them in. Either way works. Thanks!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_01 = When I was a child, Christmas was my favorite day of the year. My family was always crazy busy with work and school but, when December 25th rolled around, it was all about family. Just us, some music, snow on the ground, and a tree that reached the ceiling. It was magic.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_02 = As I got older, the holiday became less and less special. My siblings went away, my parents broke up, but I always held Christmas in my heart. I believed in Santa. I needed Santa. Little did I know that Santa?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_02_CH1 = WASN'T REAL
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_02_CH2 = HAD DIED
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_02_CH3 = HAD BEEN KIDNAPPED
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_03 = Are you crazy? Santa is too real.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_04 = What? No way! Santa can't die. Duh, he's an *elf*.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_05 = No one knew at first. The Christmas Spirit was so strong that everything at the North Pole just kept on going as if nothing happened. Of course, the elves and Mrs. Claus knew Santa was gone but they also knew that the world must never know.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_06 = If the people of Earth learned Santa was in trouble - in true mortal peril, what would raise their spirits during dark times? What would Christmas mean anymore? And so it was that Santa's closest friend, an elf named Twinkle, took over Kringle?s annual route and no one was the wiser. Until...
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_06_CH1 = TWINKLE LOST AN EYE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_06_CH2 = A STRANGE VISITOR ARRIVED ONE DAY
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_06_CH3 = MRS. CLAUS TOOK OVER GIFT DELIVERY
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_07 = What's the deal with everyone's obsession over people losing eyes?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_08 = The elves had toiled tirelessly without Santa for decades, constantly worrying about their beloved patriarch and eagerly awaiting some good news about the jolly old elf, so the arrival of a visitor piqued everyone's interest.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_09 = This visitor, with his shimmering eyes and long white beard, would have been a dead ringer for St. Nick in his early years - before all those dinners of milk and cookies led to his considerable paunch - but this was no merry elf. No, this was...
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_09_CH1 = KRAMPUS!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_09_CH2 = SANTA'S BROTHER, TERRY
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_09_CH3 = SOMETHING ELSE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_10 = Mary had her hands full overseeing every other aspect of the operation. The last thing she wanted to do was deliver the presents too. Plus, she's allergic to reindeer dander.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_11 = I'm afraid Krampus and Santa stopped speaking centuries ago. No one knows the specifics but Mrs. Claus bets it had to do with their semi-annual card game. Apparently, Nick is a bit of a sore loser when it comes to Texas Hold 'Em.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_12 = Terry Claus? Is that supposed to be some kind of pun?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_13 = Well, obviously. But, really, that's as good a description as any. The visitor who came was a mangled and angry spirit who hated everything about holidays and cheer and snow and elves and reindeer and stockings and core synergistic initiatives to streamline toy production without resulting in outsourcing domestic jobs to politically lopsided countries with lax labor laws.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_14 = He called himself Clawz. We had no idea at the time that this dark monstrosity was ripped right from Santa's brain. That St. Nick's captor, an alien overlord named Zinyak, was breaking Santa's mind, piece by piece. Zinyak had taken everything good in Kringle, crumpled it up, spat on it, and dipped it in evil. The result was Clawz, Santa's dark shadow. Zinyak had sent Clawz to the North Pole:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_14_CH1 = TO DESTROY THE HOLIDAYS!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_14_CH2 = TO GET THE LEGIONS OF THE ZIN EMPIRE SOMETHING NICE FOR CHRISTMAS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_14_CH3 = BY MISTAKE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_15 = And he was successful. Christmas fell. The North Pole burned. And as the joy drained from the season, the spirit of the world turned as to sackcloth. But that is a different story.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_16 = Hardly.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_11_SC_17 = *sigh* Can you at least try to be serious?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_01 = The assault on the North Pole was swift and brutal. The elves mounted a valiant resistance but, with no Santa to give them the holiday boost they needed, even they knew they ultimately could not win. It didn't help matters any that Santa's most trusted elf, and the one who had taken over gift-giving duties in his absence, had been persuaded to Clawz's side. I am, of course, talking about?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_01_CH1 = TWINKLE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_01_CH2 = TURTLE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_01_CH3 = TEACUP
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_02 = If there's one bright spot to Santa's incarceration by Zinyak, it's that the jolly old elf didn't have to see his best friend in the world turn against him in the holiday's darkest hour. Santa would have been shattered.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_03 = I wish I could tell you that Clawz had coerced, threatened, or bullied Twinkle into allying with the foul creature's plan, but the truth was far pettier than that. Twinkle was simply tired of being the replacement Santa. The elf took to Clawz's cause with gusto. It was a dark time. Worst still, was that Twinkle knew Christmas's one true weakness. He knew the one thing that would irreparably turn the tide against Mrs. Claus and the elf resistance:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_03_CH1 = MARY'S CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_03_CH2 = THE NORTH POLE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_03_CH3 = THE COMBO TO SANTA'S SAFE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_04 = Turtle? What kind of name is that for an elf? A pixie, maybe, but an elf?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_05 = No, she was let go following a workplace??incident.?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_06 = The secret ingredient is love. And bourbon.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_07 = The source of Santa's power and the most potent weapon in the elven arsenal. Crafted by the shop's most-talented elves and blessed by Father Christmas himself, the North Pole is a weapon capable of channeling holiday cheer into a blast of such high intensity it can level a large city in a mushroom cloud of concentrated happiness. It also smells faintly like peppermint.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_08 = But no one - not Mary, not Santa, not even Blitzen on one of his drinking binges - would dare unleash its power. If the North Pole fell into Twinkle's hands - into Clawz's hands - then all would be lost. Clawz unleashed a full-on assault. His army was unstoppable. The first to fall were:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_08_CH1 = THE SNOWMEN GRENADIERS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_08_CH2 = THE FLYING REINDEER
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_08_CH3 = THE CIDER BOYS ELVEN MILITIA
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_09 = it's 1-2-2-5. Nobody's surprised by that, right?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_10 = The snowmen are not allowed to carry weapons. It only causes...problems.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_11 = You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen? They were the first to die. Clawz and his evil army put their heads on pikes and paraded them around the workshop. It wasn't long after that, as I would later learn, that Clawz built his team of mechanical creatures: the RoboDeer.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_12 = It wasn't long before the elf resistance - and all of Christmas - was in shambles. Clawz locked Mary away on a remote ice floe and claimed the North Pole for his own. But he was unable to wield it - because it relied on the power of giving, even if it was a WMD. But it didn't matter, for Clawz was in charge now. The sky over the workshop darkened and Twinkle, that traitor, became a slavedriver. The only hope the world had was:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_12_CH1 = A RENEGADE ELF
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_12_CH2 = A GROUP OF WACKY TEENAGERS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_12_CH3 = TO SING A SONG AROUND A CHRISTMAS TREE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_13 = The subject of a short-lived reality show on WELF, the Cider Boys Elven Militia never could do much of anything right.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_14 = Tinsel was his name. This lone elf managed to break off from the others and escape the ever-watching eye of Twinkle and Clawz. Tinsel went to find help, to turn back time if necessary, in order to save the holidays. And he would find it. But not before the entire world got put on the Naughty List.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_15 = *sigh* No.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_12_SC_16 = I'm glad you're able to joke during a time like this.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_01 = Clawz had taken over the workshop. He had the North Pole in his possession. Mrs. Claus was locked away. The reindeer were slain. Twinkle, the traitorous lout, was working the elves to the bone. It was the darkest time in Christmas history. And it was about to get darker. With only hours until Christmas, Clawz and his minions didn't have long to ruin the holidays - but they didn't need much time. Clawz's first stage in Operation: Black Christmas was:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_01_CH1 = AN ANTI-CHRISTMAS AD CAMPAIGN
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_01_CH2 = A STRICT DRESS CODE FOR ALL WORKSHOP EMPLOYEES
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_01_CH3 = THE PRODUCTION OF DANGEROUS TOYS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_02 = Clawz's twisted operation would only benefit from the months-long barrage of Christmas propaganda. An anti-Christmas ad campaign would be counterproductive.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_03 = That was part of his plan, yes, but that's not what we're talking about here.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_04 = Long gone were the days of dollies and trains. Clawz had his elves rebuild the machines used to create toys so they now produced only weapons of war. An army of elves wasn't enough for him; he wanted more, bigger, meaner soldiers. He wanted to turn the world's children to his side.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_05 = After all, everybody still thought Santa was in charge. News of Nick's imprisonment hadn't spread beyond the workshop and that happened decades ago. The people of Earth were oblivious to Clawz's regime and his evil intent. Clawz was counting on them to do as "Santa" told them. If Santa gave them guns and knives and nuclear warheads to play with, who would turn it down?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_05_CH1 = GOOD LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_05_CH2 = PEOPLE WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN CHRISTMAS?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_05_CH3 = ANYONE WHO WAS SANE?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_06 = Exactly! No one!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_07 = Christmas doesn't care if you believe in it. Christmas believes in you.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_08 = Well, yes, maybe, look, anyway?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_09 = And so the elves went about making their weapons and deadly toys. And into Clawz's sack they went. As the hour of judgment loomed, the spirit around the workshop was dire. No one dared speak up to oppose their taskmaster Twinkle or his boss, the vile Clawz.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_10 = Come midnight, Clawz climbed into his sleigh and went about his annual route. His RoboDeer braying in the cold winter's night, Clawz set an arsenal into the stockings and under the decorated trees of every household. Not everyone got presents though. There were those Clawz had put on the naughty list. Those people got something much worse.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_10_CH1 = FRUITCAKE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_10_CH2 = ETERNAL TORMENT AND PAIN
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_10_CH3 = BUNNY PAJAMAS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_11 = Hey. Some people like fruitcake.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_12 = Even worse. Those poor souls unfortunate enough to be deemed "naughty" by Clawz were not simply denied presents or subjected to lashings. No, Clawz had something much worse planned for them.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_13 = On Christmas morning, those who had not made the nice list were seized by maniacal nutcrackers and whisked away to the workshop. They were to become the subject of Clawz's grand experiment. He needed those of a naughty disposition to:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_13_CH1 = WATCH SOAP OPERAS WITH
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_13_CH2 = SCRUB THE ROBODEER STABLES
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_13_CH3 = TURN INTO HIS SPECIAL "SOLDIERS"
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_14 = They should be so lucky.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_15 = No! Clawz prefers to watch those alone.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_16 = Cleaning the RoboDeer stables is one of the few pleasant tasks at the workshop since the machines are engineered to turn their grain-like energy source into a custard that tastes vaguely like chocolate-chip cookies. Or so I've heard.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_17 = As it turns out, Mrs. Claus wasn't simply locked in a prison on that ice floe. She was being forced by Clawz and his crew to create, well, the only word for them is "abominations."
  • COL_TXT_ADV_13_SC_18 = She was making Gingerbread Men. Not just ordinary Gingerbread Men made of sugar and flour. These were cookie soldiers bent on world domination, driven by an insatiable hunger for war. But the Gingerbread Men experiment was failing. They were lacking that special ingredient: Human Brains.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_01 = Christmas had come and, with it, the reckoning of Clawz. The good were given weapons. The not-so-good were kidnapped by sentient nutcrackers to be turned into malicious Gingerbread Men. Moms and dads around the globe attempted to take the guns and knives and grenade launchers from their children but were met by meltdowns, temper tantrums, and the occasional rude gesture.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_02 = How could mommy and daddy hate Santa? Why would they take his gifts away from them? Without an answer, the parents had no choice but to relent. But this was only the first phase of Clawz's plan. The second was enacted on:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_02_CH1 = NEW YEAR'S EVE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_02_CH2 = VALENTINE'S DAY
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_02_CH3 = ST. PATRICK'S DAY
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_03 = New Year's Eve 2013. A day which will live in infamy. A fleet of sleighs, large enough to block out the sun, descended from the northern tip of the Earth like a black cloud. No one knew it was coming. No one was prepared.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_04 = Gingerbread Men, crazed nutcrackers, elven turncoats - morphed into giants by Clawz's power - and a stampeding horde of RoboDeer stormed across the land. Scared, defenseless, and more than a little confused, the people of Earth holed up in their homes, unsure of what to do. Little were they prepared for what happened next. For Clawz's last punch in the sack was even more nefarious, more wicked. Clawz's master stroke was:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_04_CH1 = AN ARMY OF CHILDREN!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_04_CH2 = FRUITCAKE!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_04_CH3 = KRAMPUS!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_05 = No way could Clawz wait that long.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_06 = As a long time fan of snakes, Clawz wanted nothing to do with that man.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_07 = What no one knew was that those "toys" that Clawz had given the young people of Earth on Christmas morning - the bayonets and flamethrowers and minelaunchers - emitted a high-pitched noise, only perceivable by children, that turned them into mindless zombies when triggered by Clawz. By pressing a button on the head sleigh, Clawz activated his army. The kids picked up their weapons and took their parents hostage.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_08 = The grown-ups were forced into large, gaudily-wrapped packages, tossed into a large pack and hauled away to the workshop. The nutcrackers set about destroying all that was left behind, smashing cars and bikes, setting homes aflame. With the world burning and its citizens captured, Clawz set about on the next phase of his plan. But what Clawz didn't count on was:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_08_CH1 = HIS HEART GROWING THREE SIZES THAT DAY
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_08_CH2 = AN ANGEL GETTING ITS WINGS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_08_CH3 = A ROGUE ELF
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_09 = Seriously. Fruitcake isn't that bad.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_10 = Krampus has nothing to do with this!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_11 = Not unless Clawz had been eating a whole lot of bacon, no.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_12 = Sorry, Clarence. Not this time.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_13 = Tinsel, the elf who had thwarted Clawz's forces and escaped the workshop, had made it to civilization just in time to tell a small, ragtag group of regular people what Clawz, Twinkle, and the rest of their minions had been plotting. Trekking southward from the Pole was no mean feat but Tinsel knew he must get the message out. He had to let the people of Earth know what was coming. And he knew, more than anything, that the best people to tell were:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_13_CH1 = THE UNITED NATIONS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_13_CH2 = NASA
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_13_CH3 = THE SAINTS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_14 = Following the Worst Christmas Ever, the United Nations had temporarily disbanded.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_15 = Tinsel thought NASA was a brand of hot chocolate actually.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_14_SC_16 = that's right. The Saints. Well, actually, just one Saint. Me.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_01 = A big fan of my reality dating show, I Wanna Sleep with Shaundi, Tinsel was fixated on finding me - both to get an autograph and to help save the world.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_02 = Not only had Tinsel managed to get away, he brought something with him: a small pouch of Christmas magic. He didn't have enough to just wish Clawz away but he did have enough so that, if enough people believed really hard, the magic dust might be able to free the people Clawz had brainwashed. It was a long shot, but it was all we had. Of course, the first thing I did was:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_02_CH1 = SLEEP WITH TINSEL
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_02_CH2 = SMOKE A BULB
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_02_CH3 = ASSEMBLE THE CREW
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_03 = NO I DID NOT SLEEP WITH TINSEL.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_04 = NO I DIDn't SMOKE A BULB.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_05 = Hey, I knew I could handle things on my own but it never helps to have back-up. The first one I called was Johnny. First things first, I wanted more than an elf watching my back. Kinzie was next. She then insisted on calling Keith David but he was last seen on location playing himself in his own life story and nobody had his number.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_06 = Ben King had taken the money he'd made on that weirdo sci-fi book he wrote and was on some remote island somewhere. I suggested Matt Miller but Kinzie shut it down. Apparently, she'd had enough of sharing the spotlight with him. Every second we weren't taking action was another moment Clawz was ruining the planet. I made the call to only bring on one more person:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_06_CH1 = ASHA
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_06_CH2 = PIERCE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_06_CH3 = THE BOSS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_07 = Asha's good people, especially after everything that went down, but I figured we weren't going to get her without Matt being on board.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_08 = Yes, of course, the only person who could possibly round out humanity's last ditch effort is a clueless, fame-obsessed, off-key-singing celebrity of the moment with SERIOUS boundary issues.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_09 = Of course, they spent the first twenty minutes laughing in my face. They didn't even believe in Santa. They figured Clawz was just some crazy alien who followed us home, gave kids a bunch of guns, and was now unleashing its armada at us. Which, oddly enough, is actually a more plausible explanation.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_10 = They were down for helping - any time "shooting bad guys" is part of the plan, the Boss wants involved - but no way were they buying into Christmas magic or elves or any of that. I like to think they changed their minds:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_10_CH1 = ONCE THEY MET TINSEL
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_10_CH2 = WHEN THEY SAW THE CHRISTMAS DUST
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_10_CH3 = BUT THEY DIDN'T
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_11 = I believe the Boss's exact words were "Hey, Shaundi, is that your little nephew"? So, No.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_12 = They took a pinch, smeared it across their gums, and declared it "Pretty alright shit."
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_13 = Of course not. Have you MET the Boss? Look, I respect the hell out of them and I'm loyal as a dog to them but open-minded they are not. Once they get some idea in their head, they just...
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_14 = I'm going off point. Anyway, we had our crew and you know what? It felt good. Me, Kinzie, the Boss, Johnny. Lean and mean. Oh, and Tinsel. Lean and mean and really short. I mean, seriously short. He came up to my kneecap. I wasn't even going to THINK about wearing a skirt around this guy - Sorry, going off-track again. We had the crew. We had some magic dust. We had an objective: take out Clawz. How we were actually going to do that? Well?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_14_CH1 = THAT WASN'T ENTIRELY CLEAR
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_14_CH2 = THAT WAS LAID OUT AND READY TO GO
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_14_CH3 = THAT WILL BE TOLD IN THE NEXT TEXT ADVENTURE SEGMENT
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_15 = True, but...
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_16 = Ha! Since when do we Saints ever "lay out a plan"?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_15_SC_17 = Yep.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_01 = Clawz was holding the world hostage. Tinsel had finally made his way to me with his sack of magic dust (which was only kind of disturbing). The crew (the important parts anyway) had been assembled. We knew we wanted to get all those people who had been brainwashed by Clawz's twisted presents on our side - and Tinsel assured us the magic dust could do it. But of course there was a problem. Which was:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_01_CH1 = HITTING ENOUGH PEOPLE WITH IT
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_01_CH2 = THE ELF FORGOT AND SNORTED IT ALL
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_01_CH3 = CLAWZ FOUND US FIRST
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_02 = According to Tinsel, you had to come into contact with the dust to be affected by it. We only had a little bit - meaning we couldn't waste a speck - and no good way of distributing it to a wide audience. Kinzie said she could produce more if she had the components but Tinsel said that only Santa could bless the stuff. Without Santa, it was just dead skin cells and sawdust. Johnny suggested putting it into a sprayer and hosing people with it. Not a bad idea but it was the Boss who came up with the best plan:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_02_CH1 = CROPDUSTING!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_02_CH2 = GATHERING EVERYONE AT THE STEELPORT ARENA
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_02_CH3 = PUTTING IT IN THE WATER SUPPLY
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_03 = No! But I kinda think he wanted to.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_04 = Nobody finds the Saints unless the Saints want to be found. Except those times people found us.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_05 = *sigh* Yep. It appears sometime during the presidency, Pierce had the great idea of hooking up an "aerial application apparatus" to Air Force One. From what the Boss said, it was to be part of Pierce's attempt to "paint the whole world purple." Our glorious Communications Director, ladies and gentlemen.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_06 = Well, turns out this harebrained scheme of Pierce's was actually going to come in handy. Under the cover of darkness, we made our way to the hangar (we were quite surprised Clawz hadn't set up defenses around any command centers or anything; whether that was a product of his ego or just an oversight is hard to say), and prepared for our counterassault. We had just gotten everything in order when:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_06_CH1 = WE REALIZED AIR FORCE ONE WAS OUT OF GAS
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_06_CH2 = CLAWZ'S FORCES ATTACKED US
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_06_CH3 = PIERCE APPEARED IN A FIT OF JEALOUS RAGE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_07 = Um, how big do you think the Steelport Arena is?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_08 = Yeah, we really didn't have that kinda time?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_09 = Okay, true, it had been out of gas but we caught that early on. Thankfully.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_10 = Tinsel, bless his little elven heart, wasn't the sneakiest elf in the world. He had been trailed the entire way from the workshop to Washington DC. A spy, following orders from that turncoat Twinkle, reported back to Clawz about our plan. As soon as the hangar doors opened, a fleet of sleighs - each one signaled by the screeching of its RoboDeer - descended from the sky.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_11 = They came at us, guns blazing. We took cover in the hangar and unloaded what we had. I have no idea how long the battle took but it seemed to last for hours. Gingerbread men, nutcrackers, weirdly tall elves, and mechanized reindeer surrounded us. Our enemy was strong but we were determined. After the smoke cleared, it was obvious:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_11_CH1 = CLAWZ WON
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_11_CH2 = WE WON
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_11_CH3 = IT WAS A DRAW
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_12 = Ha! No. But, man, that's totally something Pierce would do, isn't it?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_13 = We were outgunned, outmanned, and had nowhere to run. I grabbed a rocket launcher, climbed aboard Air Force One, and started firing missile after missile at them. Twinkle, in his RoboDeer-driven sleigh, swooped down and grabbed me. He dragged me up high, high into the sky. I remember the look he had. That twisted grin, that disgusting shimmer in his eye. "Happy New Year, girl," he said. Then he?he?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_14 = Let's just say when I landed on the dirt, I was short one arm. That bastard. I was losing blood fast and fading. The last thing I saw was Johnny climbing onto Twinkle's sleigh - and the scream he let out when the elf leveled my arm - still grasping onto that rocket launcher - right at Gat's face.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_15 = Soon after, it was over. Air Force One was grounded, we were all taken hostage, and Christmas was forever ruined. The planet had fallen to an evil version of Santa and his no-good army of twisted Christmas icons. All hope was lost. We had no choice but to surrender to Clawz's will. The world was his now. Or so he thought.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_16 = *sigh*
  • COL_TXT_ADV_16_SC_17 = The Saints don't do "draws."
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_01 = The Saints had lost. All hope was gone. The world had fallen under the rule of Clawz and not even us Saints could save the day. Johnny was gone for real now. I lost an arm (though Twinkle insisted on replacing it so that I "was still useful.") Years went by. The Boss was locked away in Clawz's office while the rest of us (including the other Saints with whom we'd been reunited) were put to work in the mines.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_02 = Our job, day in and day out, was to collect metals from the earth. All we had to work with were a set of tiny hammers and some thimble-sized buckets. Why Twinkle and his men didn't make human-sized tools for us, I have no idea. Just another sign of their maliciousness, I suppose. We had attempted many uprisings, of course, but they were always thwarted by:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_02_CH1 = THE WATCHFUL EYE OF CLAWZ
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_02_CH2 = THAT TASKMASTER TWINKLE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_02_CH3 = LACK OF MOTIVATION
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_03 = Surprisingly, we rarely saw Clawz. Rumors bounded that he was busy working on some grander plan, some ultimate "Master Phase" but no one knew for certain what that was.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_04 = While Clawz was rarely seen, Twinkle and his giant elves were omnipresent. Like starving hawks, they watched our every move. We couldn't wipe a bead of sweat from our brow without bringing down their wrath. That didn't stop us. We developed a code - subtle gestures, inflections on certain words - that helped us communicate with each other. With it, we were able to devise a plan right under their noses. The first phase of the operation was to:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_04_CH1 = LEAD A WORKER UPRISING
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_04_CH2 = TAKE OUT TWINKLE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_04_CH3 = INFILTRATE CLAWZ'S OFFICE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_05 = Overthrowing Clawz and reclaiming the Earth consumed our every waking moment. It filled our hearts with fire and our veins with acid. We ate, slept, and breathed defying that monster. No cause surpassed the death and destruction of Clawz, Twinkle, and everything they wrought. So, no, it wasn't "lack of motivation."
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_06 = The more, the merrier, right? In order to take out Clawz for good, we needed to make sure Twinkle and his crew were distracted. It was Pierce who came up with the plan. (I know, I was surprised too.) It was Asha and Ben who put it into action. Kinzie faked an injury to draw the guard's attention. Ben struck from behind while Asha grabbed the giant elf's weapon.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_07 = When other guards came running, I rallied the workers. By the time Twinkle and his posse showed up, we had taken the mine. The giant elves lay at our feet - and the workers stood by our side. We were ready for phase two:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_07_CH1 = SMOKING A BULB!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_07_CH2 = TAKE OUT THE ROBODEER
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_07_CH3 = TAKING OUT TWINKLE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_08 = That was a must but that couldn't be our first step. Taking out Twinkle would only bring Clawz down on our heads. We needed to do something else first.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_09 = Not a bad way to start but no. We had to do something else first.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_10 = I'm gonna smack you. I swear to God.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_11 = As it turns out, the RoboDeer would be an integral part of our plan.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_12 = Damn right. I was gonna get that son of a bitch for my arm, for Johnny, and for siding with Clawz and helping start this whole mess in the first place. The workers took their tiny tools and acquired guns from the giant elves. Asha and Ben cleared out the others while I leaped on that bastard Twinkle like a jungle cat. I wasted no time pummeling Twinkle to a pulp. With my last punch, I drove my first through his giant elf face and into the ground below.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_13 = With Twinkle down, we stormed Clawz's compound. Seeing us energized the workers who had been on the assembly line. They took up arms alongside us. The Battle of Santa's Workshop was long and bloody. Sometime during the battle, I got my hands on a Crimson Cowboy - the best weapon in the elven arsenal. We were just outside Clawz's office when a RoboDeer with a glowing nose charged me.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_14 = I leveled my gun and squeezed the trigger. The bullet bounced off the reindeer's metal hide and landed square in my eye. I went down but I wasn't out. I rose again and, together, we tore RoboRudolph apart. The path to Clawz's office now clear, we threw open the door, ready to take that monster down once and for all - but the monster's room was empty. Clawz was gone.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_15 = All that was left was a note: "Nice try, Saints, you did real well. But I'm afraid you're stuck in this living hell. One planet couldn't beat me, don't you see? Now the universe will fall just as easily. By the way, I've got your Boss. I'd be lying to say I was sorry for your loss." Had all our fighting been for nothing? No. No way. We couldn't let Clawz win. We couldn't let the entire universe fall under his regime. We had to stop Clawz. But how?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_15_CH1 = FIND A RESERVE OF CHRISTMAS MAGIC IN THE WORKSHOP
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_15_CH2 = WISH UPON A STAR
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_15_CH3 = ZINYAK'S TIME MACHINE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_16 = We looked but there was nothing left.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_17 = Uh, no.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_18 = Clawz had found Zinyak's time machine and hidden it in the back of his office. I had never been so happy to see a machine in my life. (Kinzie would disagree.) The machine was mangled though. Half of it was missing. Using parts from the destroyed RoboRudolph (some of which were used to fix my eye) and a little elven ingenuity, Kinzie and Matt got the machine back in working order. But it only had enough juice to send one of us back.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_19 = Matt thought it should be Asha. Ben suggested Kinzie. But it was Pierce who said it should be me. "Shaundi's lost the most of any of us," he said. Huh. Maybe I'd been too hard on Pierce this whole time, I thought. "Plus, if she doesn't come back, we still have everybody important." Or maybe not.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_20 = Still, I agreed. I would make the trip back to my own past. But when? How far back to go? I could have traveled back and warned everyone about the Zin invasion but I also knew I needed to be able to get back to my time. Also, if we had never been abducted, we wouldn't have gotten Johnny back. So I chose the day before Clawz came to power. We would have defeated Zinyak already and had his time machine - but it wouldn't be too late to save Christmas.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_17_SC_21 = I set the course, stepped into the machine, and hit the button. And, like that, I was gone.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_01 = We had done it. Clawz had been defeated. Santa had been saved. The Boss even learned the true meaning of Christmas. But I couldn't stay. I had to get back to my own time. But not before taking part in the most glorious montage the world had ever seen. After that, I said my goodbyes to everyone and stepped into the Zin time machine. I set the machine for the only date I could and pressed the button. In a flash, I disappeared from the past and materialized back in the present.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_02 = I stepped out of the time machine to find myself inside a museum. Sometime during the decades since we successfully saved Christmas, the Saints had apparently forgotten that I'd be coming through that damn thing and stashed it inside a history exhibit. Not that big of a deal except for the fact:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_02_CH1 = DINOSAURS HAD TAKEN OVER THE PLANET!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_02_CH2 = ZINYAK HAD COME BACK TO LIFE!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_02_CH3 = THE MUSEUM WAS CLOSED FOR THE HOLIDAYS!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_03 = No, that DLC isn't officially canon.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_04 = No! Though I suppose there's always Saints Row V.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_05 = Admittedly not the most epic of the options but, yes, the museum was closed for the holidays which meant I couldn't get out. Unless I broke the glass with my cyberarm. Which I did. The world outside was magnificent. Lights of every color sparkled on the fronts of every building. Children and grown-ups alike were making snowmen on street corners. From storefronts, I could hear carols and hymns lilting onto the street. Christmas - and those other holidays too - had survived.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_06 = I asked an orphan boy what day it was and he told me it was Christmas Eve. There was still time! Still time! Okay, that last part didn't happen. But of course I had to come back to the day before Christmas. I had to see it. I had to know, really know, we had won. The first place I went was:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_06_CH1 = THE BOSS'S PLACE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_06_CH2 = LET'S PRETEND
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_06_CH3 = JOHNNY'S
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_07 = Ugh. Have you seen that place? Add a couple more decades of "Boss" to that hole and NO THANK YOU.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_08 = I'm going to *pretend* you didn't say that.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_09 = Predictable, right? But, look, after everything we'd been through - and after losing him AGAIN thanks to Twinkle - it was the first place I thought of. That would have been proof beyond proof that we really had changed the future.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_10 = But when I went to his door, he didn't answer. I knocked again. No answer. It wasn't until after I busted down his door (this cyberarm is pretty awesome), that I realized he wasn't there. No message. No nothing. Feeling saddened and a little bit lonely, I decided then to stop by:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_10_CH1 = THE BOSS'S PLACE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_10_CH2 = KINZIE'S
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_10_CH3 = PIERCE'S
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_11 = No, seriously, I'd follow them into hell but live with them? No. No way.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_12 = We're like sisters, right? I figured if anyone would know where Johnny was - or where anybody was - it would be Kinzie. I took a cab to her "inner sanctum" and knocked on that big ugly garage door. But, again, there was no answer.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_13 = I thought about ripping it off its hinges (could my cyberarm even do that?) but, no. She was probably off being Kinzie somewhere, y'know, Kinzie-ish. Or maybe she had moved. I realized then that it had been a long time and people move and, hell, people die. Maybe there were no more Saints. A sobering thought. With nowhere else to go, I went to:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_13_CH1 = THE BOSS'S PLACE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_13_CH2 = BEN KING'S
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_13_CH3 = MY PLACE
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_14 = Look, I know I'm hard on Pierce and everything but, after Johnny, there's no one I'd rather see than - Sorry, I can't. No way I can get through that with a straight face.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_15 = Not. Gonna. Happen.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_16 = I actually don't know where Ben lives. he's never invited me over. Huh.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_17 = I had bought the place outright with the cash I got from that game show so I figured, if any place had the best chance of still being around, it was my place. I grabbed a cab and headed home.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_18 = I couldn't believe nobody was around. Or that nobody was there to greet me - I mean, I told them that I was going back to "Christmas Eve 2035" so you think at least one of them could mark it on their calendar and maybe say "Thanks, Shaundi, for warning us about Clawz and helping turn the tide of human history and also for saving Santa and Christmas and those other holidays too!" but NO. Nothing for old one-eyed, one-armed Shaundi.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_19 = After the cab left, I stood for a moment in the cold December air. It was dark out, not a hint of snow. I knew I should be happy just to be home but I felt empty. Alone. Sad. I was heading towards the door when I realized I didn't have my keys. Was I going to have to bust down my own door? Well, it turns out I didn't need to because as soon as I got close:
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_19_CH1 = MY HOUSE BLEW UP!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_19_CH2 = THE DOOR OPENED!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_19_CH3 = MY CYBERARM TURNED INTO A LOCKPICK!
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_20 = You sure have a love of theatrics, don't you?
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_21 = And there he was: Johnny. That big goofy grin on his face. And it wasn't just him. It was Kinzie and Asha and Matt and Ben and Pierce and the Boss. They hadn't forgotten. In fact, they all knew the one place I would eventually have to come back to. They welcomed me home with hugs and high-fives and rounds of "Merry Christmas."
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_22 = Kinzie was just telling us about how Santa had given everyone a special present as a thank you when I heard a strange-yet-familiar voice from the kitchen yell, "Is she here"? A strange vibe filled the room at that point. Everybody hushed except for Kinzie. "Oh," she said. "I suppose I should have warned you-" "it's alright, Kinzie," the voice in the kitchen said. "I'm sure she'll recognize me."
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_23 = And into the room walked me. Other me. Another me. No cyberarm. No robot eye. Short haircut. I always wondered what I'd look like with short hair. Kinzie did her best to explain. "When we saved Christmas, we started an alternate timeline. This is the you that exists without Clawz and Twinkle and all that happening." I admit: it was weird. Like really weird. But okay. I mean, I was used to hanging out with other versions of me by that point.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_24 = "Hey, let's knock back some nog, what do you say?" Typical Pierce. "Or at least some Egg Nog-flavored Saints Flow!" So we did. And we talked and laughed and shared stories while, outside, it started to snow. We gathered around the tree and sang carols until late. That night, after everyone had left, and I was snuggled in my bed, I heard footsteps on my roof.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_25 = And I knew it wasn't the name brand-sneakers of gang thugs or the webbed-feet of some alien race or the tromping metal repulsers of RoboDeer but the pitter-patter of hooves and the shiny boots of St. Nick. Tomorrow morning, I'd wake up and see what present Santa had delivered me. Whatever it was, I already had the only present I could ever ask for: The best Christmas ever.
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_25_CH1 = THE END
  • COL_TXT_ADV_18_SC_26 = it's a mechanical limb not a Swiss army knife. But that would be cool, yes.
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_1 = PIERCE
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_10 = THE BOSS
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_2 = KINZIE
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_3 = ASHA
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_4 = CID
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_5 = JOHNNY GAT
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_6 = BEN KING
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_7 = SHAUNDI
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_8 = MATT MILLER
  • COL_XMAS_LETTER_9 = KEITH DAVID
  • COL_XMAS_TEXT_ADV_CHAPTER_1 = 1: HOLIDAYS PAST AND PRESENT
  • COL_XMAS_TEXT_ADV_CHAPTER_2 = 2: THE RISE OF CLAWZ
  • COL_XMAS_TEXT_ADV_CHAPTER_3 = 3: A CHRISTMAS PERIL
  • COL_XMAS_TEXT_ADV_CHAPTER_4 = 4: A FULL-FROSTED ASSAULT
  • COL_XMAS_TEXT_ADV_CHAPTER_5 = 5: TINSEL
  • COL_XMAS_TEXT_ADV_CHAPTER_6 = 6: OPERATION HOLIDAY HUSTLE
  • COL_XMAS_TEXT_ADV_CHAPTER_7 = 7: LAST DITCH EFFORT
  • COL_XMAS_TEXT_ADV_CHAPTER_8 = 8: THE FUTURE
  • XMAS_LETTER_COLLECTED = LETTER COLLECTED
  • XMAS_LETTER_COLLECTIBLE = LETTER TO SANTA


452, 2014-09-29T03:57:57Z (last edited: 452, 2016-03-27T15:46:44Z)

I'll do the DLC subtitles sometime soon too.
Since nobody is using this information to improve DLC articles, there seems little point in me extracting the subtitles.
452, 2014-12-27T19:45:14Z

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