|Ultor Family Fun Day|
? marked, ? minimum kills
- MIME SHOT. DIED WITHOUT MAKING A SOUND
- — Stilwater Gazette newspaper headline
At the titular company picnic, Gryphon acts as a spotter inside the lighthouse and points out targets to The Protagonist at the Stilwater Boardwalk. After killing multiple people affiliated with Dex, The Protagonist, satisfied, assures Gryphon that the 3rd Street Saints will cease hostilities with Ultor.
The following text has been transcribed verbatim from the game files.
It can be read in-game upon completion of the mission by selecting the mission at a Newspaper Clipboard.
- Go up the stairs to the office
The sniper rifle that is used in Saints Row 2 is very high-powered; one shot takes down most enemies; therefore taking headshots is not as crucial. Try to aim for the torso because missing scares the target into running and that can make things difficult. If all else fails, players can use an accurate enough machine gun, such as the AR200 SAW or AR-50 XMAC.
- Kill all the targets Eric calls out
While taking out many of the targets given by Eric Gryphon, they cannot be let out of sight or leave the building area or risk failure. The targets are randomized.
- Defend yourself from the angry mimes
- Destroy the mime car
Their vehicle is initially indestructible, but after killing some mimes, destroying it becomes an objective; do so to stop them from spawning and continue the mission.
- Go up to the roof
After following the stairs to the rooftop, more targets appear on the pier and docks.
- Kill all the targets Eric calls out
The targets are randomized again as well here.
- Kill the ninja prowling the rooftops
After killing a certain amount[amount?] them, several ninjas use smoke bombs to appear on the roof and attack. Keep moving around on the rooftop and shoot them until they stop spawning and die.
- Kill the Masako that are going after Eric
From the nearby lighthouse, Gryphon is discovered and a Masako unit moves in on him. They disembark from a Bear and head up the hill towards the lighthouse, providing ample time to snipe them before they make it into the lighthouse.
- Meet Eric downstairs
Eric thanks The Protagonist for their help, and the mission ends once they go downstairs.
- The ninjas yell out Ronin cries.
- During the ending cutscene, "The Dust Settles", The Protagonist says to Eric Gryphon that he "can go to Mars for all [they] care"; this is a reference to the Red Faction series, which takes place in the future on Mars, where Ultor are the main antagonists.
- This is the only time the three promotional vehicles, the Destroy UFO, the Gyro Daddy helicopter, and the Peewee motorcycle appear in a mission.
- One of the targets drives a Peewee, and it can be kept by getting on the bike after killing the target.
- The Protagonist tells Gryphon that they will track down whichever city Dex fled to to get their revenge on him, leaving it on an apparent cliffhanger. However, this plot is not continued in Saints Row: The Third.
"A Hunger for Revenge" cutscene Edit
- The Protagonist: "The fuck you mean, he's gone!"
Eric Gryphon: "Dex left town last night. He requested an emergency transfer."
The Protagonist: "This is bullshit, Gryphon!"
Eric Gryphon: "There was nothing I could do."
The Protagonist: "I swear to God, if I find out you helped him..."
Eric Gryphon: "I didn't!"
The Protagonist: "Then make it right."
Eric Gryphon: "How? He knows you're trying to kill him. There's no way he's coming back."
The Protagonist: "Fine, I can't get Dex? You're gonna help me get his people."
Eric Gryphon: ""His people"?"
The Protagonist: "His friends, his soldiers, his fucking favourite street magician – if it's someone Dex cared about, I want 'em dead!"
Eric Gryphon: "I think I have an idea."
- Eric Gryphon: "Alright, I'm in the lighthouse."
The Protagonist: "How's the view."
Eric Gryphon: "Adequate. Dex's people are all over. I'll identify as many as I can so you can work your... magic... from that building."
The Protagonist: "Wouldn't it be easier to just walk up to these assholes?"
Eric Gryphon: "If you want to go on a suicide run, be my guest, but if they spot you, we're both dead."
The Protagonist: "If you say so."
- People are starting to scatter. Get on the roof for a better vantage point.
- — Eric Gryphon, after destroying the mimes' limo
- I've been spotted. The Masako team is coming for me.
- — Eric Gryphon
- Just don't forget that I can't help you if I'm dead!
- — Eric Gryphon
- That was unpleasant. Dex will have gotten the message by now. We're finished here. Meet me near the boardwalk.
- — Eric Gryphon, after killing all the Masako
- The crowds are moving away from the building... You'll need to find another location.
- — Gryphon
- The 3rd annual Executive Pirate Bay Run is about to begin. Here's your chance to knock a few rungs off the corporate ladder.
- — Gryphon
- Gryphon: "Over there. One of Dex's accountants."
Gryphon: "Now there's someone who needs a harsh lesson on the realities of life."
Gryphon: "How bout that one? Yeah... I think I've seen them around Dex's office."
Gryphon: "Someone's personal shopper is in for a surprise..."
Gryphon: "I'm sure they've done something wrong in their miserable life..."
Gryphon: "Just shoot them already."
Gryphon: "I don't suppose Dex's chauffeur would interest you...?"
Gryphon: "You won't get an easier shot than this."
Gryphon: "Dex treats his masseuse like family... How unfortunate for them."
Gryphon: "You know what needs to be done with that one."
- — Random target
- Gryphon: "See that boat out there? It's carrying Dex's stock broker."
Gryphon: "I hope you're not planning on letting that boat escape..."
Gryphon: "Dex loaned out that boat. A pity the captain won't go down with the ship."
- — Random target boater
- Gryphon: "Look at these people stuffing their faces... Disgusting."
Gryphon: "Dex's dry cleaner is busy eating... You should have a clear shot."
Gryphon: "Hmm... Dex's personal food tester. A little lead poisoning should suffice."
- — Random target eating
- Gryphon: "Over by the limo. It's one of Dex's assistants..."
Gryphon: "Hmm, only a decoy for one of the Ultor VPs... but don't let that stop you if you're so inclined."
Gryphon: "They claim those limos are bulletproof... Care to test that theory?"
- — Random target exec
- Gryphon: "They're about to get the catch of the day..."
Gryphon: "Someone's about to sleep with the fishes... (cough) It sounded better in my head..."
Gryphon: "The only thing that person should catch is a bullet..."
- — Random target fisherman
- Gryphon: "Ugh... It's Lowery from accounting. Do us all a favor, please?"
Gryphon: "That imbecile insists on wearing that outfit to the office... I never want to see it again."
Gryphon: "Dex forces that fool to peddle month old hotdogs in our cafeteria... Please put an end to the problem."
- — Random target hotdog
- Gryphon: "Clearly that person doesn't understand how dangerous those contraptions can be..."
Gryphon: "Out on the water... Quick."
Gryphon: "Torbit from marketing is trying to escape by sea. Put a stop to it."
- — Random target jetski
- Gryphon: "(sigh) Sutton the Mime... Please put everyone out of their misery..."
Gryphon: "I'd like to see that prick do the "invisible box" routine after this..."
Gryphon: "Kill the mime. You don't really need a reason, do you?"
- — Random target mime
- Gryphon: "Masako trainer on that motorcycle. Take them out."
Gryphon: "People never understand just how dangerous motorcycles can be..."
Gryphon: "That is most certainly Dex's stylist. Someone should have worn a helmet..."
- — Random target motorbike
- Gryphon: "Now things are getting interesting..."
Gryphon: "By all means, work your magic on that one."
Gryphon: "Well, they didn't even say goodbye."
- — Random target runner
- Gryphon: "Someone is in need of a little enlightenment it seems."
Gryphon: "Feel free to put Dex's florist "at one with the universe.""
Gryphon: "That's actually not anyone connected to Dex... I'm just repulsed by their face."
- — Random target yoga
"The Dust Settles" cutscene Edit
- The Protagonist: "You think they gonna come down on you for this?"
Eric Gryphon: "Maybe. It isn't your problem anymore, right?"
The Protagonist: "Yeah, I don't give a shit, I was just being polite."
Eric Gryphon: "Thanks for faking it."
The Protagonist: "Anytime."
Eric Gryphon: "So what are you going to do now?"
The Protagonist: "I'm gonna find out which city Dex ran to and get the bitch."
Eric Gryphon: "The Stilwater Branch won't have any more unpleasantness with the Saints, will we?"
The Protagonist: "As long as you don't come after me and mine, you can go to Mars for all I care."