In this mission, Pierce, Jimmy, and Playa attempt to find Johnny Tag disguising Pierce as Aisha and having him sing "Bounce Like My Checks" at various Planet Saints. Playa must ward off excited fans using the Swarmitron, a weapon that fires bees. Playa must try to protect Pierce as he sings which slowly calms Johnny Tag. Unfortunately, the SNG arrives to kill everyone. Playa must then fend off Oppressors. In the process Johnny escapes. After a short chase Playa rescues Tag and Jimmy brings in a cloned version of Aisha, called Aisha Brutella, who succeeds in calming Johnny. Unfortunately, a SNG Tornado then shoots and kills Aisha Brutella, and Johnny Tag escapes.
The title of this mission is based on the phrase "tour de force".
During this mission, Pierce wears clothing that matches the clothes Aisha wore in Saints Row and Aisha Brutella wears a similar outfit. Pierce is the only male character dressed in drag as part of the storyline, although it is possible to dress Playa in drag.
Though she is killed by the SNG during the mission, at the end of Tour De Farce, Aisha Brutella is unlocked as a homie.
When Female Voice 3 is used, she says that Pierce's singing is okay, but that he is no Aisha.
The part of the mission where Playa protects Pierce with the Swarmitron is somewhat similar to the Crowd Control activities in Saints Row 2, in that Playa plays the role of a bodyguard protecting a famous person from overzealous fans.
Guys, I know how to stop Johnny! We just have to get him calm first, then we can talk to him. I have the perfect way to do it! Come to my house. You're going to love this, I just know it!
— Jimmy, pre-mission phone call
Unsorted[]
Re-arrange these into the in-game order, and update to description lines with details about when each occurs
Jimmy: "Here we are."
+Playa - Female 3: "Start with the singing, Pierce."
-Playa - Female 1: "Time to serenade Gat." Playa - Female 2: "Let's hear that singing, Pierce." Playa - Female 3: "Start with the singing, Pierce." Playa - Male 1: "Pierce, guess you better start singing." Playa - Male 2: "Let that Aisha start flowing, Pierce." Playa - Male 3: "Let's hear those Aisha songs, Pierce." Playa - Zombie: "Roars"
Pierce: "I hate you right now."
— "Arrive PS1"
Pierce: "What the fuck did you do to Gat?"
+Playa - Female 1: "Holy shit, Jimmy..."
-Playa - Female 1: "Holy shit, Jimmy..." Playa - Female 2: "My God... look at him..." Playa - Female 3: "That's not right, Jimmy!" Playa - Male 1: "Jesus, Jimmy..." Playa - Male 2: "That's Johnny?!" Playa - Male 3: "He looks horrible!" Playa - Zombie: "Sneers"
Jimmy: "Uh, remember the plan. Get him calm before getting near him."
+Playa - Male 3: "Right. Let's do this, Pierce."
-Playa - Female 1: "I think that's on you, Pierce." Playa - Female 2: "You're up, Pierce." Playa - Female 3: "Um, yeah... more singing then." Playa - Male 1: "This is on you, Pierce." Playa - Male 2: "Right. Pierce, get on that." Playa - Male 3: "Right. Let's do this, Pierce." Playa - Zombie: "Snarls"
— "Arrive PS2"
They're going to kill him!
— Jimmy, "Attacking Gat"
Keep shooting him, it's slowing him down.
— Jimmy, "Bee Gun Gat"
Jimmy: "Soon we can take them both home." Pierce: "Wait, you hear that sound?" Jimmy: "I should have known then... It was the sound of doom on our doorstep."
— "Death Coming"
Aisha! NOOOOOOO!
— Jimmy, "Death of Aisha"
Pierce: "What now?"
+Playa - Male 2: "I could have handled a cloned Gat. But a rampaging clone of Gat? This is gonna need something bigger."
-Playa - Female 1: "Now we find something bigger to stop Gat. He was hard to control when he wasn't a rampaging clone." Playa - Female 2: "Stopping Gat would be hard. Stopping his clone? That's going to take a lot more." Playa - Female 3: "Gat's pissed. He isn't going to come quietly. We'll need a better plan." Playa - Male 1: "A pissed off Gat was one thing. A pissed off clone... we'll need something powerful to stop him." Playa - Male 2: "I could have handled a cloned Gat. But a rampaging clone of Gat? This is gonna need something bigger." Playa - Male 3: "Gat's even more pissed now. We'll need something seriously powerful to stop him." Playa - Zombie: "Snarls"
Jimmy: "Lucky for them, I had just the thing..."
— "End"
Pierce: "There he is." Jimmy: "Start singing, I know it'll work." Pierce: "I really hate you both right now."
— "Find Gat"
On the hunt once again to save our friend, we knew the faster we reached him the better chance we had of keeping him alive. We had to keep our wits about us to make this work.
— Jimmy, "Follow Gat Begins"
We have to follow. Come on, I'll track him!
— Jimmy, "Gat Runs Off"
The excitement of the crowd and the realization they will finally find their friend put the group in high spirits. Pierce's singing would work, just as the invention by yours truly had kept the fans at bay. With the strength of their leader guiding them all, there was nothing to fear. As they drove, they thought of all the good they will accomplish together.
— Jimmy, "Heading to PS2"
Jimmy: "I hear him! He must be at the other Planet Saints! We have to hurry!"
+Playa - Male 2: "Pierce, time to move."
-Playa - Female 1: "Let's get moving, Pierce." Playa - Female 2: "Hurry Pierce, let's move." Playa - Female 3: "You heard him, Pierce. Let's go." Playa - Male 1: "Pack it up Pierce, we're rolling." Playa - Male 2: "Pierce, time to move." Playa - Male 3: "Hold on, Pierce, we're moving!" Playa - Zombie: "Gargles"
— "Hear Gat At PS2"
Pierce: "We got a problem, boss. Helicopter coming in!" Jimmy: "No, no, no! Here, shoot those things down before they hurt Gat!"
— "Helicopter"
That was close. We better make sure Gat's alright.
— Pierce, "Helis Dead"
Jimmy: "Use the bee gun to keep the crowd back. They're causing too much feedback on the speakers." Jimmy: "The crowd's getting too close to the stage, you gotta keep them back." Jimmy: "Watch the crowd, they're getting through!" Jimmy: "You have to keep them all back!"
— "Keep Away"
Pierce: "Ok, what the hell is that?" Jimmy: "A mobile stage! Hop in, I'll explain along the way to Planet Saints."
+Playa - Female 3: "This is a joke, right?"
-Playa - Female 1: "And this is supposed to help us how?" Playa - Female 2: "And this is supposed to help stop Gat?" Playa - Female 3: "This is a joke, right?" Playa - Male 1: "How is this supposed to help us?" Playa - Male 2: "Start explaining this shit, Jimmy." Playa - Male 3: "Start talking. How's this going to help us?" Playa - Zombie: "Growls"
Jimmy: "Pierce is a singer. If he sings Aisha songs, we can calm the savage beast within Johnny, giving us a chance to reason with him." Pierce: "You've gotta be kidding. And why are we going to Planet Saints?" Jimmy: "Today is Fan Appreciation Day at all those locations. Gat may turn up looking to reconnect with the Saints. Only problem is the crowd." Pierce: "What about them?" Jimmy: "We'll have to keep them from spooking him. Take this bee gun, my own genius creation. It should be able to hold off any crazed fans without killing them."
+Playa - Female 2: "This better work, cause right now it sounds ridiculous."
-Playa - Female 1: "Jimmy... this is a bee gun. You know what, fine, I'll try it." Playa - Female 2: "This better work, cause right now it sounds ridiculous." Playa - Female 3: "You want me to use... bees. Right..." Playa - Male 1: "Fine, we'll give it a shot. But this better damn well work." Playa - Male 2: "A bee gun? I'm at a loss for words..." Playa - Male 3: "I'm taking a bee gun and listening to a kid. I must've lost my mind." Playa - Zombie: "Grunts"
— "Meet Jimmy"
Calling my allies to arms, I met them with the solution to our problem...
— Jimmy, "Mission Start"
Pierce: "Boss, we got incoming!" Jimmy: "Oh god! Don't let them kill us!"
— "Morningstar Attack"
Nearing their destination, the Saints knew this was their lost friend and were happy to see him alive and well.
— Jimmy, "Nearing PS2"
It would take something more powerful. The most powerful feeling of all... Love.
— Jimmy, "Power of Love"
+Playa - Female 2: "Will the bees stop Gat?"
-Playa - Female 1: "The bees will work on Gat, right?" Playa - Female 2: "Will the bees stop Gat?" Playa - Female 3: "I can slow Gat down with the bees, right?" Playa - Male 1: "Will this bee thing work on Gat?" Playa - Male 2: "Tell me this bee gun will work on Gat." Playa - Male 3: "The bees. Will they work on Gat?" Playa - Zombie: "Grunts"
Jimmy: "I think so..."
+Playa - Female 3: "For Pierce's sake I hope so."
-Playa - Female 1: "I hope so. If they don't, Pierce is in trouble." Playa - Female 2: "I have to try before he kills Pierce." Playa - Female 3: "For Pierce's sake I hope so." Playa - Male 1: "Gonna have to try, otherwise Pierce is going to get his head ripped off." Playa - Male 2: "Well, one way to find out..." Playa - Male 3: "They better or Pierce ain't gonna last." Playa - Zombie: "Roars"
— "Protect Pierce"
+Playa - Male 3: "It's alright, Johnny. We're... fuck!"
-Playa - Female 1: "It's alright, Johnny. I'm here... fuck!" Playa - Female 2: "I am here for you, Johnny. Let's... wait!" Playa - Female 3: "We have you, Johnny. Let's go... dammit!" Playa - Male 1: "Come on, buddy. We... shit!" Playa - Male 2: "I got ya, Gat. It's ok... oh shit!" Playa - Male 3: "It's alright, Johnny. We're... fuck!" Playa - Zombie: "Grumbles"
— "Revive Gat"
+Playa - Male 3: "A RPG launcher? Where... You know, forget I asked."
-Playa - Female 1: "You had this on you? Fuck it, just forget I asked." Playa - Female 2: "Jimmy, where were you keeping this? On second thought, nevermind..." Playa - Female 3: "You had this just tucked away for a rainy day?" Playa - Male 1: "Where did you get this... you know what, nevermind." Playa - Male 2: "Where were you stashing this? In fact, forget I asked..." Playa - Male 3: "A RPG launcher? Where... You know, forget I asked." Playa - Zombie: "Mumbles"
— "Rocket Launcher"
+Playa - Female 3: "That worked?!"
-Playa - Female 1: "Pierce... it's actually working!" Playa - Female 2: "This is actually working?!" Playa - Female 3: "That worked?!" Playa - Male 1: "Holy shit, this... this is working!" Playa - Male 2: "Is that... is that actually working?!" Playa - Male 3: "Jimmy, it's... it's working!" Playa - Zombie: "Growls"
Jimmy: "I told you!" Pierce: "Kid, you got lucky here."
— "Romantic Moment"
Pierce: "You didn't. You fucking didn't!" Jimmy: "She was his one true love, I couldn't let him live without her."
— "See Aisha Brute"
+Jimmy: "This isn't working. Hold on, I have a secret weapon. This is guaranteed to work!"
-Jimmy: "But try as we might, the rage inside the tormented man could not be subdued with mere bees." Jimmy: "This isn't working. Hold on, I have a secret weapon. This is guaranteed to work!"
Guys, I know how to stop Johnny! We just have to get him calm first, then we can talk to him. I have the perfect way to do it! Meet me at Rim Jobs. You're going to love this, I just know it!
— Jimmy, alternate version of the pre-mission phone call.
